#we know he knew a lot of people at the azalea but like. did he do things 🤔

[allegoryofthebeast]

I’m really interested if S3 will go over Lestat’s relationships outside of Louis and Claudia in New Orleans. It may not be important in the grand scheme but it was always so nebulous to me how he interacted with the world around him outside of Louis. Like - was he ever shopping for Claudia and ran into Levi shopping for his daughters too and if so how weird was that interaction

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

And Now, Forever, I Know (All That I Wanted Was to Hold You)

A longer version of this snippet that I reblogged to @cwritesfiction 's snippet prompt. I listened to the songs For the Dancing and the Dreaming (From HTTYD), So Close (From Enchanted), and Kingdom Dance (From Tangled) on loop while writing this bit- in case you couldn't tell. Very satisfied with how this turned out.

Wordcount: 1064

Warnings: none, just pure fluff and sweetness for this one <3

Set during Book 6 - Sleeping Beauty's Bodyguard, Draft 0, Character and Dynamic Exploration for Raven and Sapphire

“Please?” Sapphire said, “It said on the town bulletin that everyone is invited, including visitors to Estonia.”

Raven folded his arms, standing his ground. “It’s too exposed, too dangerous.”

Sapphire pouted. “You never let me do anything fun.” She muttered, “You’re just like my parents…”

His heart panged as a lump formed in his throat. Hallyusus. Damn it. She was hurt and it was his fault and he hated it. 

Raven closed his eyes, praying to the gods. He was going to regret this.

“Alright, fine-” He sighed, and her face lit up like fireflies in the summer, “But!” He held up a hand. “The second it goes south or there’s danger, we leave. Deal?”

She nodded excitedly. She looked at their clothes, worn and dirty from travel. “We’re gonna need clean clothes.”

Raven let out a small groan. They were already flirting with danger. “Alright, we’ll check the shops in town tomorrow before the wedding, I’m sure a lot of people will be looking for clothes to wear at the wedding anyway, so we’ll blend in somewhat…”

The next day they found clothes appropriate for the event, Sapphire in a simple but elegant dress that showed off the freckles on her shoulders. It was light brown- similar to the spring coat of a doe in the forest, with silver thread along the seams. The dress fell at her ankles, and the fabric was shining and soft, with a large skirt that flared out when she twirled. 

He got some new black trousers and a dark gray shirt that fell open slightly, exposing his chest a bit. He got a new cloak as well, because what the hell? And he needed a way to hide his sword anyway- no way he was leaving that behind.

That evening, the happy couple was wed. As was custom, only the happy couple wore bright colors adorned with gold accessories- while everyone else was in natural grays, browns, whites, and blacks with silver accessories. The next day at the ceremony afterparty, the whole town and all the visitors danced the day away.

Well, everyone else did, while Raven stood off to the side. With an untouched drink in hand, he watched carefully. He watched the wedding guests for anything suspicious, he checked over his shoulder constantly, and he checked whenever someone danced a little too close to the princess. 

He also just- didn’t know what to do, really. He folded his arms awkwardly, shifting his feet constantly, and tried not to look at anyone. What was normal behavior here? He had no clue and it was driving him insane.

Sapphire came over to him, bouncing excitedly. Someone had made her a flower crown of soft pink azaleas, sitting atop her fiery hair. She had to hold a hand to the flowers to keep them on. “Come on!”

Raven’s eyes widened, and motioned ‘No’ in every way he knew how. “No, no, no- I don’t- I have to make sure-”

“Stop worrying and have fun, for once in your life!” She said, setting his drink on a nearby table, and took both his hands in hers. Then she pulled him into the swirl of dancing.

She pulled him behind her, weaving in and out until they were near the center at the fountain. 

His body tensed, trying to figure out what to do. “I don’t-” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I don’t know how to dance…”

“That’s alright!” She said, taking one of his hands, “I can show you.”

“Sapph-”

“Come on! It’s easy!”

“There’s no way on Hallya’s green earth that this is easy.”

“Yes it is! You just move your body with the music, dance how you feel!”

“Dance what you- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!”

Sapphire grabbed his hand, used her other hand to swing around her skirt, and said, “You can follow my lead if you want!”

He tried, but his body was too disconnected and he kept fumbling.

“Here!” She said, and lifted one of his arms over his head- spinning him around. He almost spun out of control, but their hands were still connected and she pulled him back. She spun into his arms, leaning back, then spun out of them.

Sapphire continued to spin and bounce in time to the music, and Raven desperately tried to keep up. Finally, he knew one thing he did want to do, and acted on it.

He lifted her arm over her head, spinning her around, then picked her up- hands on her hips and her feet leaving the ground as they both spun around.

Her face lit up the brightest he’d ever seen it, and she was laughing. He spun around one more time, bringing her gracefully back to the ground.

Dizziness hit him, and he almost fell into the fountain- but Sapphire pulled him back, laughing.

They crashed into each other, almost falling over- but she was giggling and Raven found himself almost laughing too. A huge smile- it must’ve been the biggest, purest one of his life- was growing, and he was too excited to stop it as his heart soared.

The band’s jubilant and bouncy music slowed. Everyone on the dance floor was exhausted, and happy to switch to a slower song, gently swaying along to the music.

Sapphire fit almost perfectly against his chest, her nose coming up to his chin, and rested her head on his shoulder with a dreamy sigh.

Her father would rage if he knew how close and how lovingly Raven was holding Sapphire right now- but honestly couldn’t find it in himself to care. No one who knew who they were was here to see it anyway.

So he let himself hold her a little tighter, leaning his head on her’s.

They stayed like that until the music got fast again- they were both too tired to keep going, and made their way out of the flurry of dancing townsfolk. They found vacant chairs by a table, and crashed.

It wasn’t long before other guests started to tire as well. Everyone wished the happy couple well, gave any last gifts, and then everyone went home to rest.

Raven and Sapphire went out to a field behind the village. While the horses grazed, he guided her through another daisy chain, and she was able to make a half-way decent one without crushing the delicate flowers.

[acupofbullshit]

The ugly, ugly truth of a stone to the heart.

“Even on my worst days, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? Because I loved you… I swore I’d love you until my dying day.”

Ladies, theybies, gentlemen and kinfolk alike gather round, Gather round!

For I have quite the tale to tell you.

It’s a cautionary true tale of tragedy, heart ache, heart break, love, loss, kindness and a lesson in why empathy isn’t always the best policy.

Our story spans the better part of a decade and… none of it’s enjoyable.

The people in this story are extremely real and is based entirely on fact, truth and genuine circumstance; that being said please do not take it upon yourself to absorb this traumatic situation to make it your own or to use this as a shield to hide behind your own feelings for the situation and the people involved.

If you care too greatly for those involved and you simply want to stay away from the details or would rather live a Schrödinger’s lifestyle I implore you to back out now, stop reading and call it a night… that’s enough social media for tonight.

If not, please read on.

To start I’ll answer some questions as I usually do.

Q. Why are you doing this?

A. I’ve been hounded relentlessly for it on NGL and there’s a character limit there so I figured if you really wanna know so bad? here we are.

Q. Why do you feel the need to do this?

A. Two reasons

1. He’s gonna say I’m crazy and hide the truth so might as well actually be crazy and spill the beans

2. I’ve accidentally opened a door to social media where some of you feel genuinely entitled to the details of my personal relationships and the damage is done.

Q. Will you share your life openly on social media in the future?

A. Maybe… maybe not.

If this experience has taught me anything it’s you really cannot trust the people around you and sometimes you need to trust that the universe knows details you don’t and hears conversations you can’t.

If the circle needs to close, let it close.

It doesn’t matter how much you love them or how badly you want things to change.

Q. Does the other party know you’re sharing these details?

A. Probs not, hey? But I also don’t care?

Not once did that man think about me or our children at any point through his indiscretions… so… 🤷‍♀️

Q. What happens if your kids read this in the future?

A. I’m extremely honest with my girls and they’re already aware of the important details and this is a lived experience for us all.

I’m not sharing aaaaaaaaalllll the traumatic shit because… I don’t want to relive that? Just the relative need to knows.

trigger warnings in effect for infidelity, abuse, anger, sadness, depression, miscarriage and everything else that feels like anguish.

Are you ready kids?

Because it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…

“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”

Let’s take you back 10 years. It’s 2014, MH370 Is missing, Ebolas a problem, Vine is popping off and Fancy by Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX is taking the world by storm.

I’m a newly single 21 year with 2 kids under 3 and my friends are trying to set me up with a cute boy they knew who, I was CERTAIN wasn’t interested in me.

The boy could barely look at me without frowning and when I tried to speak to him he always looked like he was in pain. There was no way he liked me… and yet he was asking me on a date.

He was a little younger, lots of fun and very handsome… and also NINETEEN. And he didn’t have kids of his own. And liked to party. And he didn’t finish school. And he couldn’t drive and he didn’t have any responsibilities and he had his whole life ahead of him… why on earth would this man chain himself to a woman with 2 young children?

Trading in Kesha and Skrillex in dark rooms overflowing with booze and dimly lit with lasers for Peppa pig and Disney movies on the couch illuminated with a nightlight and a 3 years olds giggle… not the most ideal trade for a young man and yet still, he promised he wanted it.

He wanted a family, a life, a house full of love and children of his own someday.

“Even if it does work out and he actually likes me it’s a recipe for disaster … this is a bad idea” I thought to myself.

10 years later I kick myself for not trusting my instincts and hate the fact that, like always, I was right.

Ok I’m not always right.

Once I thought there were 100 seconds in a minute and 60 centimetres in a metre... yeah yeah, I know. I KNOW.

But I am always right about PEOPLE. who they are, how they act as their true selves and their core motivations.

When you’ve been through enough trauma to madden a small army you get pretty good at seeing things for what they are… and even better at delusionally pretending you can’t and especially so when love is involved.

Back to the story.

Time wore on and we were happy... Mostly.

Or at least we were right up until our first major hurdle as a couple… infidelity.

The genius accidentally showed me someone’s nude photographs on his computer while trying to open an anime for us to watch.

How was it handled?

He said I planted it there to make him look bad and that I was trying to set him up.

Listen, I’m crazy… but I’m not INSANE.

I dye my hair pink on a whim and drive interstate for a meal. I’ll laugh so hard at a seal screaming at a traffic cone I’ll accidentally trigger a panic attack.

See? Crazy, but not insane.

Naturally I rebutted and refuted his claims but he doubled down which is when he learned gaslighting was an effective tool to weaponise against someone with admitted lapses in memory.

Yes, you can start cringing now. It only gets worse from here.

We hadn’t even hit our first anniversary before the cracks were well and truly embedded and they ran DEEP.

And I stayed. Stupidly, because I thought somehow I DID somehow plant them there or it WAS somehow my fault.

What if it WAS an old photo that he just happened to have saved to his desktop that he forgot about? Benefit of the doubt right?

Wrong. WRONG.

I look back on that poor young gullible woman and I’m filled with rage. He’s nice, sure but he’s not worth the thousands of dollars in therapy and the years of happiness lost.

Stacey, you should have run. Got out clean! Dodged a bullet!

It doesn’t matter if there was another failed relationship, this wasn’t on your hands you don’t have to prove you can outlast something out of spite anymore.

BUT I DIGRESS.

we move on, things change.

We put in some work together, I change jobs he goes back to school to get his apprenticeship… things are going kinda great! (Aside from my medical mishaps and me losing my job that is)

…And then we got new neighbours.

That’s when the real trouble began.

Within a year of them moving in he had made friends, destroyed a marriage, broke up two families and forced us to move.

Why? Because he just had to try and (maybe) succeed in fucking his best friends fiancée (our next door neighbours).

That one was hard.

I had just endured a miscarriage and was undergoing a likely cancer diagnosis… I’d spent the day before having holes poked into my cervix to remove suspicious cells and I was worn out and exhausted.

After a long ass day of being in pain and raising girls I had just put dinner on the table and felt ready to cry. He tried to cheer me up and show me a “a funny meme” at the table. What he ended up showing me was my very pregnant next door neighbour masturbating in a towel.

I didn’t laugh at the hilarious portrait. He wasn’t laughing when I threw him out of my house and slammed the door. The neighbours saw, they whispered “see, he said she was insane”

I didn’t care.

He deleted the evidence of the affair and tried to convince me I didn’t actually see anything and i had just made it up. She got ahead of the curve and told her partner I was just an awful woman with an axe to grind.

“It’s the stress of the situation, it’s because you’re sick. You’ve just lost your job. You need me”

I could scream now.

Therapy made me believe I was somehow responsible for this adult child’s inability to regulate his impulses

“He has adhd… and addiction issues… relapses will happen but you love each other. He can’t be fully held accountable for his actions you’re going to have to learn to work around these problems”.

“You both want to work on this right?”

Right?

It’s not like you have a lot going for you anyway…

One more shot… just one more.

And then while we were in the thick of working on our relationship to each other he left for work again and lived in Newcastle 5 days to 7 days a week for 6 months.

I stayed here, trying to work full time, raise 2 kids and wrap up a custody battle.. he forgot I even existed. He’d forget to call… forget to message… forget to tell the girls good night…

You can guess what happened.

Of course you can, you see the pattern. You’re not blinded.

And you know what? I definitely saw it too.

Except now? He’s adored by my girls and were newly engaged I can’t just back out now.. I can’t take away their parent.

It’s not their fault he does these things and he’s mostly so good to them… maybe I could just learn to live with this….

Maybe if I just lost the weight or tried harder to be a better wife or was more demure and less abrasive… maybe I needed to change my hair or my style or my entire personality… maybe tattoos might help.

Maybe if I changed everything about myself it might make it easier for him to want to love me…

Stacey you fucking Brussel Sprout you’re TRAUMATISED.

He didn’t need to gaslight me anymore. I was doing it to myself FOR him.

Can you believe we haven’t even hit the half way point yet.

The next ones though… these were DOOZYS.

It’s now 2019. We’re supposed to be getting married in 3 months. Guess who’s texting pictures of his dick to women on the internet again? SPOILER ALERT: It wasn’t me.

The wedding is off. We’re just living together at this point out of sheer necessity.

And that’s when things really took a turn.

I won’t get into the details because.. this bit is really REALLY sad but the highlight reel runs: a broken hand from punching a hole through the floor, a trip to the emergency mental health unit for one, $30,000.00 in debt and three of us in crisis accomodation over Christmas in a hostel later I’m now free… and he was in the local gatts bed the day I left.

Moving forwards I have my own place, I’m feeling better, I worked on myself and I was feeling great about life again.

He and I are still friends trying to maintain a friendship for the girls who still adore him. They don’t know any different and I don’t have the heart to tell them.

And then covid happened.

And he started staying more and more frequently… and he’s changed and he’d worked on himself and things were different this time…

I wanna puke I’m so dumb. DUMMMMBB.

For a while though, things actually were great. We were working together as a team, the girls were thriving and things were going well…

So why won’t he commit to long term goals?

The tension was palpable. Our friends were CONFUSED. I was devastated.

From the very beginning all I had ever asked for was for him to love me and the girls unconditionally and that we’d get married and grow our family together.

This was only ever expanded to include “and to not cheat on me”.

He swore these goals were shared. Promised these were things he wanted too and that he definitely wanted them.

So why, after 7 years of back and forth would he not ask me to marry him and make things official? He’s asked before right? Why won’t he ask again?

Why after 7 years did we have no savings, no shared major assets and no real plan to expand our family? Why did we not have a 5 year goal?

Because he didn’t want too in the first place.

I begged.

Cried.

Pleaded.

“What can I do?” I’d lament.

“Why is this just not working” I’d whisper between sobs. And he’d comfort me. Reassure me it’s not me, things are just tough… the excuses were endless.

“Why am I not enough?” I was torturing myself.

We were in the throws of twice weekly couples therapy that I’m paying a shit tonne for.

I’m doing the homework, I’m working on my communication, I’m engaging in the sessions and baring all because I’m committed to making this work.

Him?

“It’s hard for me, you know I don’t like reading. Talking about myself makes me uncomfortable, I lost the homework binders, I hate doing these exercises they’re dumb and they do nothing”.

And then guess who unexpectedly fell pregnant? Me. It was me.

I was thrilled. He was mad.

I don’t think he actually expected this to happen, I mean I know he didn’t because he accused me of cheating on him for it to have happened. I didn’t, by the way.

No matter though, a routine check up revealed this little angel wasn’t proceeding.

I spent my New Year’s Eve in a hospital alone and scared having the news confirmed to me that the child I had longed for hadn’t made it and it was time to proceed with the next steps… and then we went to a pool party so he could ignore me.

“We can’t let our friends down Stacey, they’re expecting us. It might do you some good.”

My mind was elsewhere. I was a shell. On another astral realm while my body just robotically moved on the physical plane.

He? Was on an inflatable unicorn in the pool living his best life.

Splashing and smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong.

Was I wrong? Was I wrong to feel this way? It had only been 10 weeks maybe he’s right and maybe I was just too attached to an idea…

A few days later I proceeded to endure the most traumatic medical procedure of my life. After bleeding uncontrollably for hours at home I attended the emergency department where they completed a bedside extraction without pain relief because all the ORs were contaminated with covid patients.

A 24 year old nurse named Bethany who confessed earlier she was so overwhelmed and wanted to leave the profession held my hand and let me cry into her shoulder while another nurse held my legs apart so the doctor could do what he needed to do.

He stayed home and played Spider-Man to pass the time. Granted it was during covid and it was suggested he wait outside, I didn’t expect him to go home brag about finishing the game.

Y U C K

Then there was the incident at our best friends wedding… l wasn’t myself again yet after losing the baby the month prior but it was our friends wedding and I wanted to be there.

We booked a hotel room on the premises, I wanted to make it special. I put in some EFFORT to look as hot as I could… it didn’t work.

He got trashed and threw up in a garden because he didn’t want to spend time with me. I wanted to sit next to each other and dance on the dance floor and feel the love in the room…

He staggered to the hotel room.

I stayed a little longer because it was our best friends wedding? And I wanted to enjoy it?

I danced with my friends mum.

Hopped in the Photo Booth with some friends, ate some cake and then my social battery ran dry.

Exhausted, it was my turn to stumble back to the hotel room. My swollen feet rubbing in my heels, a little tipsy from the wine and lost because the room numbers didn’t make sense.

I find my way back and he’s passed out on the bed, fully suited, shoes still on and phone in hand.

Silly man. I thought. Had too much fun.

“I’ll get his shoes off for a start.. now I’ll put his phone on charge for him…” it was still unlocked. Messages open. He was sexting our old neighbour again.

I dropped the phone. Stifled my cry.

I sat cross legged in the bottom of the shower and sobbed for hours.

The usual.

I was embarrassed and ashamed.

My friends can never know… at their wedding?!

He’d be dead by morning.

I kept it to myself. I mean I confronted him when he found me in the shower but that one I wanted to keep to myself.

I wish I didn’t.

It wasn’t long after that he went away for work AGAIN. our entire life was him disappearing for weeks to months at a time for work. This time it wasn’t too far away and it was a short trip to Bathurst for a few days but I had a hunch…

Sigh.

This is just a joke now.

Cycle repeats. There’s another woman, there are photos, there are messages and I feel sick except this time there’s an ultimatum. Do it again and this time I’ll burn your life to the ground.

He promises and I do too. He promised he’d do the right thing, I promised I’d set fire to everything we’d built together just to watch the flames cleanse and scorch the earth between us.

He went straight back to love bombing and I’d just checked out at this point, going through the motions of life waiting for the inevitable error.

Because I knew it was coming.

It could take a week, it could be 5 years but I knew it would come…. And boy oh boy did it come.

The wheels well and truly fell off the wagon when he forgot my 30th birthday and said I was dramatic for expecting him to know he had to plan something.

… what.

It’s your significant others birthday… a milestone one… you didn’t have to build me a palace dude I just wanted a fuckin’ card and maybe for you to plan something with the kids.

I was biding my time. I knew our relationship was over.

We were now approaching 10 years of …. This… and there was still no ring on my finger. No love in our house and no children running free.

25 May 2024, the break up date was set in my mind.

I was waiting it out when again… 2 little pink lines came up in August.

I didn’t want to allow myself to be hopeful but I did.

The more time went on the more excited I got and the more distant he became.

“It’s just nerves after what happened last time”

*pterodactyl screech*

NO IT’S NOOOOOTTTTT.

The Second trimester rolls around, we’re starting to tell everyone... I’m jazzed. I feel like my life’s falling into a disjointed step and things are looking relatively good… that deadlines looking really silly now. Maybe I was wrong? I wanted so BADLY to be proven wrong. I had HOPED I was wrong.

The only thing that stopped me from announcing our news to everyone we knew? We were waiting on our harmony test to confirm a gender before I told my parents who I knew would be over the fuckin’ moon.

A 15 week routine check up confirmed our daughter Emery lost her heartbeat sometime that week.

I was devastated.

Gutted.

Drowned in grief.

And I felt so alone.

I felt like I was mourning this loss and a bit more on my own and I couldn’t understand why. I knew my daughter was gone but I couldn’t understand what else I was grieving.

Subconsciously I think I knew.

Like another cruel twist of fate I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. No waves of rolling pain it was just ow. It’s labour but it’s wrong.

In the middle of the night I drove myself to the hospital and delivered my little girl on my own. The staff were incredible and concerned I was alone.

They dosed me up on morphine and I silently wept for hours.

By the time he arrived to the hospital to “support me” I was ready to go home.

I drove myself home to cry my eyes out and get our kids ready for school and he went to work like it was another normal day.

Weeks go by and I’m lost; spiraling into a deep depression and I can’t anchor myself to anything to slow the decent.

I’m stuck somewhere between sorrow and anger and a weird dissociative state that I can’t shake.

I’m trying to run my household, turn up for work, parent my children, look after myself and be a good friend and an attentive partner but I’m falling short at every turn. Everything I touch becomes sick with melancholy.

Everything I’m trying isn’t working.

And then it hits me. I’m grieving alone.

I am GRIEVING alone.

I am doing it ALL by myself. All the household chores, all the errands, all the things required to maintain a family and a relationship. I’m going to my appointments alone. I’m going through the motions alone. I’m crying alone. I’m awake at night with my heart in pieces alone. I’m reading the books alone, I’m trying to cope alone and I’m trying to love again alone.

Our intimacy disappeared as soon as he knew we were expecting and it just didn’t come back.

He was always so angry at me because I couldn’t get it together and he’s constantly on his phone… I know what this is…. I’ve seen this movie before and I know how it ends.

My heart sank.

Dread seeps in.

The insidious feeling creeps into the back of my mind and I cannot shake it.

So I did the cardinal Cardi B sin.. I went through his phone that night and I found some things I definitely didn’t like.

He was cheating the entire way through our pregnancy, loss and afterwards.

Including the night I delivered.

Who is she? Some girl i met on TikTok. How long has it been going on for? Not long, a few months.

I saw red.

I cut sick.

I went feral.

You don’t need me to tell you why.

I was definitely done this time. The ick was severe.

I screamed in agony. Ugly hot tears spewing from my eyes with pure unbridled rage. How dare you. How very fucking dare you.

I threw what I could get my hands on, clawed at my own skin to try and hold onto the pieces of my soul that were so desperately trying to escape my body… I had descended into madness.

I spat words laced with venom from a place of hurt, building and bubbling over the last 10 years all coming out like an unstoppable crescendo.

My body in a state of shock didn’t know whether to turn my brain off as a response to trauma, have a panic attack or violently grieve through the pain I felt. Somehow, it did all three.

I’m not proud of the woman I was that night… not the nights immediately after.

Grief on grief on grief on grief… I had already lost so much it had just compounded into this hideous snowball.

My best friend, my child and now my love.. what could possibly be next?

Things became extremely uncomfortable when I confirmed to him I was definitely done this time. I couldn’t look at him and feel comfort and I couldn’t find solace in his eyes anymore. All I felt was a burning hot rage and bitter, BITTER betrayal and I wanted to rip down the walls of the house we built together.

He kept telling me we could make it work that it was a mistake and he was regretful and he was committed to change this time around.

Too late bro.

The little part of me that still loved you died the second I read you had called HER the day I delivered a corpse but you couldn’t call me to check on me?

Vile.

I had always thought that I wasn’t a prize, that I wasn’t worth shit and that nobody would love me and I should be grateful for the small bits of love and the bare minimum I got.

I thought that the love and affection I had so desperately tried to cultivate just wasn’t real and only existed to serve as a plot device in fairytales.

I thought that if I left him my life would be over and the walls would collapse in. That I couldn’t live without him in my life… like I didn’t know how. I wasn’t ready to let go or maybe I didn’t want too.

Our shared trauma bonds didn’t allow me to see what a life without toxicity could be.

It was awful and tumultuous but it was familiar and it was safe.

I was terrified of starting over and petrified of being alone.

That I would somehow be judged for not being able to make this work and that somehow it would be me to blame that I couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering. That my daughters would somehow hate me for taking away their father figure.

Stupid, I know.

That night was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. As soon as I verbalised to myself and to him that whatever this was was… whatever the last decade was… was done it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and the dark rain cloud drowning me had dissipated.

I began to feel free.

The person I thought I lost slowly began creeping back in… I felt more and more like myself everyday.

We made the decision to run the lease out and still live together for the time being. It was only a few months. It was achievable… right?

I hated the animosity I still felt but I loved the person I was rebecoming. I thought I could do it.

I am an idiot and I was wrong.

I hadn’t told anyone about what was happening except my 6 closest friends who have supported me through this like absolute legends. If you were anywhere near my socials you would have guessed something was up but I didn’t really elaborate to anyone outside the 6.

I was happy and coping as best I could. But I wasn’t immune. Crying fits, bouts of anger and just real mean shit wasn’t uncommon… it was quickly becoming apparent this was terrible for my mental health and couldn’t be sustainable.

I can’t live with looking at the face of my trauma and he can’t live with me wanting to rip his throat out of his body any time I see an exposed neck.

Something has to give.

Flash forwards to New Year’s Eve. Some time had passed and a very nice man who had been checking in on me as a friend messaged me nicely on Instagram to wish me a happy new year and said that they were grateful to know me and was excited for us to be excellent friends in 2024.

I echoed the sentiment.

He then replied to a photo I had posted to my story to say I looked very good and that the picture itself was Lock Screen worthy.

A little cheeky, a little flirty… but I liked it.

But just like anything in this story, it’s not quite that simple because even though he was a third party with limited knowledge of the state of my personal affairs except for the fact I was vaguely single and based of that information decided to compliment a girl on the internet… he unknowingly and unwittingly set off an uncomfortable chain reaction resulting in me learning exactly who my ex lover really was and what they were actually capable of… and this poor man was unfairly caught in the crossfires of someone else’s mistakes.

And that’s something I’ll be regretful for, for the rest of my life.

Unbeknownst to me, while I was reading the nice message of appreciation for my friendship and a cheeky compliment that had my self confidence on the rise so too, was my ex partner.

Reading over my shoulder in a veiled attempt to pry into my personal life.

He was big mad.

Mad someone had the audacity to be kind to me. Mad someone had the gumption to think I was pretty. Mad someone had the gaul to tell me so. Mad someone had the hide to appreciate my friendship and what I could offer.

He was MAD mad.

I promise you, if you saw a screen shot from this extremely tame and respectful interaction you’d sit there and think … “is that it?”

No grand display of love or devotion, no vulgar sexting, no big feelings and nothing even remotely derogatory towards my ex partner. Just two pals saying “happy new year and hey, you look cute tonight by the way”.

Until that very moment when he dropped a cheeky flirt it had only ever been platonic between us…Except for the night we met 2 years ago but that’s a story for another time haha.

So why… why was this man reacting like I’d tipped his mother’s ashes down the sink? Like he was somehow still entitled to me and the love I want to give and receive?

He stormed out of the room and disappeared for hours to sulk… I was confused. We weren’t together, it’s not my place to pry into his personal life and whatever’s got him upset… I guess I’ll let him go…

until I get a message from the nice man that read something like:

“Hey, uh I don’t want to start shit but I’m a little concerned… who is this guy and why is he liking my photos from years ago?”

… what.

The screenshots came in.

They didn’t know each other. I was their only mutual friend. I hadn’t mentioned this man by name. He doesn’t go by his legal name on the internet let alone his Instagram handle… How did he know who he was?

“I’m so sorry I’ll handle it”.

We duke it out. Not my best choice to do it infront of a giant glass window.

Our new years guests couldn’t hear what was happening but they sure could see…

I was in protective mode for a man I barely knew but why should this man be a victim of intensive cyber stalking for complimenting me? Why should his privacy be invaded like that because my ex couldn’t get his shit together and fumbled the bag?

None of that is this nice man’s fault.

Besides, WE WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER. WHY DID IT MATTER SOMEONE ELSE WAS NICE TO ME.

More venom fell out.

“There’s been a line behind you waiting for an opportunity this entire time, you only held your place at the front because I left that place open for you”

Not my best work, but definitely a pivotal moment for my own self confidence because… there WAS a line. I AM desirable. I AM wanted. I CAN be loved and I don’t need to torture myself by staying with someone who can’t offer basic respect let alone something more.

I’ve got goals. I’ve got places I wanna be. I have achievements I wanna tick off and I don’t want to be held back anymore by an emotionally deficient fuck boy.

And I realised I can live my best life with my good Judy’s by my side, my girls by my side and my family by my side.

I mean it would be nice right to have someone love you and see you and love your kids unconditionally and have the same shared interests or goals… but I’m the master of my own destiny and fuck anyone that gets in the way of that.

Anyway, he flipped it.

So much so he did the unthinkable.

Now I understand being upset. I understand acting on impulse and I understand hitting someone where it hurts when they’ve wronged you if it’s deserved.

WHEN it’s deserved.

Over 10 years of knowing someone you come to learn quite a bit about them and what really gets them excited and in turn what really upsets them.

He absorbed my secrets, my fears and my insecurities just to weaponise them against me.

Cheating on me is one thing.

Lying to me is another.

Taking one of the worst parts of my life and making me relive it for your own entertainment and manipulation? NEW LEVEL OF FUCKERY UNLOCKED.

Over the next few days I started to receive some pretty nasty anonymous messages… some I posted to my story some I didn’t.

Most were targeted at me and my appearance, some were targeted at the man that was messaging me to spread rumour, some at my kids and some were targeted at my ex partner.

I’ve been the victim of a hate campaign before so these messages were admittedly quite triggering. They preyed on the most insidious thoughts that live in the back of my mind.

Who was this person? Why would they say these things to me? The only people sending me these messages are people I already know and I can’t imagine these people saying such awful things…

My mental health took a slight sidestep and I went full undercover operative.

I set up my own little investigation. No one was more surprised when it lead me to him.

No.. I must be wrong it couldn’t be…

Until it was with out a doubt confirmed when he stupidly dropped the nice man’s legal name in an anonymous message.

There were only 4 people who knew we were talking to each other let alone his name and I definitely didn’t send the message… neither did the nice man… my best friend certainly wouldn’t have done it so it left only one option.

I paid for premium access to the NGL app. Got the clues I needed about the sender of the messages and confronted him.

He lied.

He always does.

Even when confronted with the truth.

Tried to gaslight his way out of it. Again. But it wouldn’t work this time.

The proof was right in front of us. I had the very compelling evidence. It couldn’t be disputed.

After trying to lie for a 4th time he confessed it was true and he did send some of those nasty ass messages in an attempt to manipulate my self confidence, sow the seeds of deceit between the nice man and I so I wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore and to make me feel sorry for him for all the hate he was getting online.

Again, like a bull charging at a waving flag I saw RED.

“You have a month. Get out of my house. Never speak to me again.”

This was a new low. A real ugly point. I had never cheated on him. I’d never betrayed his trust. I’d never been intentionally mean like this.

Why…

W H Y .

I immediately unfriended him off what I could. What I couldn’t, I blocked.

We weren’t friends. We never truly were. Friends don’t hurt each other like that. Friends don’t do shit like that. That’s enemy behaviour.

Only someone who despises you would do those things, any of those things let alone all of those things over a prolonged period of time.

I didn’t think this could get any worse and yet there I was… publicly bullied by my ex on the internet for his own enjoyment.

It’s time. It’s time to tell everyone. My parents… my siblings… our wider network of friends… my girls.

My girls….

Sitting the girls down was tough… an activity I never want to do again.

A conversation I thought we would have with them together to tell them we couldn’t make it work and their stepdad would be leaving - the last little honourable thing he could do… apologise to them… be honest with them… love them… and let them go gently ended up with me in tears telling them on my own that everything had fallen apart and mum was sorry.

My best friend holding one daughter while I held the other. And we all cried.

My best friend was the one helping me to explain everything to our daughters and work through the complex emotions we were all feeling. Drying tears, answering questions and reminding them this isn’t their fault…

They were devastated. My eldest fumed and my youngest sobbed in pain… their first real heartbreaks.

I’m grateful for her everyday. I’m grateful for her kindness, her love and her support but this wasn’t heartbreak she had to endure. This wasn’t her responsibility to step in… it was his.

He aimlessly folded the same piece of washing and watched the conversation unfold.

He didn’t say a word.

If I had felt guilty before asking him to leave, putting my girls first or leaning into the nice man’s advances I definitely didn’t now.

… And I still don’t.

“2nd of Feb dude, you gotta be outta here. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have anywhere else I won’t put us all through this anymore you need to make your arrangements and your exit from stage left”

I’m in my healing era. My lover girl era. My ‘be a better friend’ era. My ‘be an excellent mum’ era. My stand up for myself era. My evolution era.

And I will not lie, romance has indeed found me along the way.

And I’m so okay with that.

It’s unconventional. It’s different. It’s kind and respectful. It’s considerate and tender. It’s FUN. it’s goofy and it’s pure…

I’m pretty sure it feels like it’s supposed to.

It’s not a fight to the death every day. It’s not a struggle. It’s not nights crying myself to sleep wondering where I went wrong (it was most nights that we were together… I won’t lie). It’s not toxic fights that have me worried about what’s going to be broken this time.

I don’t need to wonder if this man actually likes me, he makes sure I know.

It’s honest and supportive and REAL…

and it’s a steep learning curve.

I have a lot of unlearning to do and behaviours to quash to be a better version of myself… not just for myself but for everyone in my orbit but for the first time in a long time I’m excited for what happens next.

The next few months will be hard financially, emotionally and physically.

But I have a kick ass gang of friends, 2 amazing daughters who under the circumstances are thriving, a fantastic therapist (shout out gabz the big dawg) and someone I can invest all my extra love into and is more than happy to send it right back.

I’m going for surgery in a week, I have a plan in place to correct my health and I’m pushing myself to be the best possible version of myself not just for me or for them… but for you too, dear reader.

Given so much of my life was shared openly and then used against me to hurt me by people I trusted and loved I can’t say for certain this level of openness will remain.

Some aspects of my life will be kept just for me, my girls lives will still stay off the internet until they’re ready (occasional happy snaps and tidbits will still flow freely don’t worry about that), I’ll still share the cool shit I’m up to with work, the dumb shit my friends and I get amongst and life events with my new significant other will be shared when and if I find one.

But only if and when I want too.

And I won’t use social media to cover up my extreme unhappiness.

Not everything you see on the internet is real and I too have played a part in that.

Relationships are complex, no one has the perfect one and keeping up appearances only gives you more heartache than what it’s worth.

So if there’s any wisdom I can impart on you it’s this:

💜 You are more than your relationships.

💜 Fuck the haters, they’re gonna chat shit anyway you might as well give them something to talk about.

💜 You are precious and deserve to be protected and loved and to be happy.

💜 don’t settle because you’re expected to.

💜 You can cut parts of yourself down but no matter how far you trim you’ll never fit into the box you think you should be in.

If you don’t fit, get a bigger box.

💜 Nothing on the internet is real.

💜 Sometimes letting go is necessary to heal.

💜 Love will find you in the most unexpected of ways and in the most unexpected places.

💜 Listen to your friend that gets the weird vibes, they’re usually right.

💜 The NSW healthcare system both sucks and is excellent at the same time.

💜 Do what you want, it’s not too late to start over. You’re gonna die eventually… live the life you want.

💜 Live in the now and the future. The past is a place we can visit but you cannot live there.

💜 Just because you’re happy sometimes it doesn’t outweigh the heartache all the time.

💜 Don’t sacrifice yourself. For anyone.

💜 People will understand eventually.

💜 Just because you can do everything on your own doesn’t mean you have too

💜 You shouldn’t suffer in silence or alone.

💜 HABITUAL CHEATERS WON’T CHANGE

And thus ends a 10 year tale of a strong AF girlie who is owning a new, better phase of HER life.

She rescued herself from the damn tower, set her daughters free, reacquainted herself with her besties and picked up a cutie on the way out to get Starbucks.

I’m writing new pages in a book I thought I’d finished and I’m excited to see the life that’s out there waiting for me. I’m excited to reacquaint myself with myself again. I’m excited for new experiences, better relationships with everyone around me and not having to wear shoes inside to avoid the broken egg shells and bits of ego on the floor.

And him? Feeling sorry for himself I guess. Or not. I’m not sure and I don’t think I care to find out.

Maybe he’s realised what he’s lost, maybe he’s awake in the middle of the night languishing in pain, maybe he’s grieving or maybe he’s just fine and couldn’t care less.

Either way, my thoughts don’t live there anymore, they live with me.

“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same cursing my name, wishing I stayed… You turned into your worst fears…

And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain and crossing out the good years… and you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed… Look at how my tears ricochet” - Taylor Swift

[storylocke]

I really just want a chance to ramble after a conversation this morning woke up the muses.

Dippy:

Back when we did the TPP Gauntlet in 2020, I started a series of fics to go with it. No surprise. It's funny though because I didn't start one for Oriana / "Red0" from Gauntlet Red even though G.Crystal connects directly to it. So the first one we meet in all this is Dippy. More specifically, we meet his mother. She doesn't play a huge role in all this, but it says a lot about the kind of person she is that she won the Who Wants to be a Millionaire (pregame) and her first priority was to get her son out of Rainbow Rocket ruled Kanto (Randomized Ultra Moon comes before this in the timeline so all of the Gauntlet leaders are different from the canon gang), and then went off the radar to protect him. She bought a small house in Newbark Town, helped Dippy to graduate early and go after his dreams in music and botany. Or biology. Pokemon is weird about what Grass types would be considered. And that's it really. She stays at home and sells stuff from their garden, most of her remaining fortune is saved in secret for Dippy and he likes to add to it too when he can. They live pretty comfortable and planned to stay in their small town the rest of their lives where they've become loved by the community with no one knowing how they afford things.

Then came the Voices. Honestly, they're barely an inconvenience for Dippy besides dragging him into fights he'd rather avoid, but he and Elm both notice that things suddenly start happening. Dippy gets picked up by Oak's Dex project and Elm encourages him to branch out in his field studies to better himself. Then the break in. Then Rockets... It's about Azalea Town when Dippy realizes he's in over his head, but that's okay because he's got a sharp memory and a lot of patience. Especially as it's here his story shifts. He's the hero, of course, that's the role of the Host in all the stories he's read or heard, but this isn't "his" story.

This is about Alaija, who broke into Elm's Lab when he saw no other way. This is about the Rainbow Rockets, who Alaija has sworn to destroy before they can begin their terrible world takeover plan. This is about Red0, who everyone thought had crushed the Rockets only to mysteriously disappear shortly before disaster struck on Cinnabar Island.

Dippy may have been called to rise up against all of them, but instead he does what he does best. Listen. He finds out what he can from the people who knew Red0, including from a glitched entity that once belonged to him (Missingno) who he promised he'll help find the boy any way he can. He gets Alaija to open up about his past with the Rainbow Rockets and the pair decide to work together with Dippy gladly taking any advice Alaija has to offer. If someone has information for him, he'll sit transfixed as he takes it all in. Because what he lacks in strength (which he really isn't) he wholeheartedly gives as a support to everyone he meets.

By the end of the story, this hasn't changed. With the Rockets gone but not defeated, Dippy finds Alaija and gives him a place to stay in case they try to come after him. Dippy gets a teammate that tells him about Cinnabar and he realizes where he has to go. Red0 didn't just disappear, he's in trouble, an no one would ever know. Red0 has become a monster after suffering from his own hubris in playing with the Glitches (his run ended with a crash after we were allowed to play with the game unpatched). In the battle to bring him back, he seems to be completely taken over by the ghost of Red in Red0's weakened state. (Phase two fight was super cool, but man kid, what happened to you?) But even seeing this lost child, scared, crazed, and out of control, Dippy doesn't put the boy out of his misery. He wants to help him. He gets him home. And when home turns out to be no place for an unstable and extremely powerful Glitch, Dippy and his mother dig into their funds to get him a place of his own.

Red0:

I didn't write a story for him because I didn't have a story. The GRed Run was fun and we had a lot of lore for the kid, but his arc was mostly in stages in my head. Oriana grew up in the Church of Helix where from early on he'd been told he was to be one the next Red. The threat of the Rockets was a sign of corruption that needed to be purged from Kanto, and this boy prayed to be taken by the Voices so he could fulfill the will of Helix. But... Once the Voices actually came and Red0 got out into the world, the sudden freedom and seeming invincibility pushed him to rebel against the lessons that had ruled his life. He hated Red, he wanted nothing to do with Helix, he was reckless with power and took it out on any Rocket he came across. He made a name for himself and quickly became a target by the big man himself: Mr. Grimsley. Red0 didn't think much of Grimsley saying he planned to scatter the group and leave Kanto for a while. Good riddance. The boy was overconfident and proud of himself to have destroyed the Rockets without the help of any so-called god! So it was little surprise that when the Glitches started to appear and Red0 learned he could gain even more power if he could catch them, that that's exactly what he set out to do. Most of his team was quickly replaced with little abominations and he admired the riches and cool talents they gave him. Until he wandered too far. Until a certain alien jellyfish appeared that he mistook for a Tentacool and gave him the bite. Until his friends from the haze seemingly turned against him. Until everything in his mind had gone to mist.

Red0 was presumed dead after Cinnabar erupted. Probably for the better that he was, surely it would have grieved his family more to see what he had become. The Voices had left, and with them, so did his sense of invincibility. He was a god among ants but these ants merely drifted along the edges of the Void. He didn't know how long he'd been on Mt. Silver by the time Dippy came to rescue him, all he knew was to destroy anything and anyone that came near him. How many had come to hunt the beast? Enough to have the gateway blocked until they are strong enough to trust they knew their lives were at risk beyond there. But then something strange happened when Dippy managed to tear down his team and break through the Glitchwork armor. Red0's greatest nightmare, the one he had spent YEARS running away from such lunatic prophecies, finally came true. While he had hardly been himself since being riddled with corruption, it wasn't Red. Red0 completely lost himself as the bizarre ritual took hold, trying to bring the epic hero fully into the plane of existence, but Dippy beat it back. Red0 fell, no armor, no ghost, no teammates left to protect him. He honestly feared the worst as he saw this Trainer with an air of fearlessness standing over him. He would finally get what was coming to him.

A hand up.

Red0 still doesn't understand why Dippy saved him. Why he trusts him, the boy understands even less. All he knows for sure is the Voices sent Dippy there that day, and for that, he's forever grateful to Them for not abandoning him like he once thought. They are a strange and unpredictable entity though. More than that, he's grateful for Dippy. The boy lives quietly up in the mountains still, but it's with a small farm his new plant-loving friend has been teaching him how to manage. There's comfort there in working with the land, in the company and protection of his Pokemon now that he's been humbled about thinking he could do everything himself. He's still traumatized though, prone to nightmares and outbursts, and cloaking himself in the cursed armor when feeling overwhelmed. He's glad sometimes he's alone. Dippy's been helping with that too. Staying with him whenever he has to go into town for supplies or meet the occasional customer, eventually even meeting some of the other hosts. Battle can be fun again as he gets back into the swing of things, usually just sparring with Alaija when he comes along to the farm. Even as they hear about the Rockets still out there and trouble overseas, Red0 might be scared but the Voices will send someone... Right?

Alaija:

Alaija is by all accounts Mr. Grimsley's son. He grew up in Rocket Castle with the other heads of the organization looking after him and everything until they were overthrown by Virginia and the team was scattered to the winds. Fortunately, he ended up with his dad when they split up, but it also meant getting to really know the guy in a way he hadn't before. Grimsley was a monster. No, not cruel necessarily, but according to many who feared him, an actual monster. Alaija had been cursed plenty of times as some kind of little freak but it was only as he got older, he started to really understand what being a Glitch meant. And even started to question if he actually was his father's son or merely something dredged up from the Void himself. Alaija had glitch powers, mostly just super speed and the ability to walk through walls normally, but thanks to Mr. Grimsley, most high ranking members in the RR have a unique power of their own. It helps bind them to each other. In a way, it helps bind them to him. Being the youngest heir to the supposed throne, Alaija spent several years being groomed for his role in the takeover. But the more he learned about it, the less certain he was about going along with it. It's not like he could just leave though. His father would find him. He would always find him. So imagine the boy's shock when Red0 blasted his way through to break up the team and leave a certain redheaded orphan suddenly alone. He's sure if he stayed in Kanto the Rockets would have come back for him. If nothing else, Grimsley would be back for him, and he was too angry and afraid to wait.

Now the thing about Grimsley is, this is actually the same Grimsley from back in Season 1. He was corrupted by the Glitches in a sort of twisted experiment by Fennel. He fought against the curse eating away at him for quite a number of years, but when Unova was nearly swallowed by the Void in Randomized White 2, Grimsley finally gave in. It's been a couple of centuries since he gained this unwanted immortality and it's been enough to drive him crazy trying to find a way to get his humanity back. There's a ritual spoken of in legend that may hold the key, but it requires someone of the same blood... And he's not dumb enough to go first.

As Alaija has grown, there's a certain level of trust given to him about what's going to happen when the RR make their move. But unlike even most of the higher ups, Alaija has also learned what it is his father is after. And it terrifies him to think in the end he'll lose his life so his father may live. A lot of his issues stem from his dad, especially given the level of Glitchery the RR has now, he's just one kid trying to stop an army. He's so scared, he doesn't even get a Trainer's licence for Johto because he feels like the RR could use it to track him down after he makes himself known, and if he's planning to poke the hornet's nest, he better be sure they can't follow. But without an ID, he can't even get a Pokemon. Johto seems oddly trusting though that once he steals one for himself everyone just assumes he's a normal Trainer. Living off found items is hard though when he can't use the Pokemon Center and going from training with the best to starting from scratch is infuriating. He's not a bad Trainer, he's just not used to using such weak Pokemon! And then there's Dippy. Why the Voices chose some meek, passive, sheltered brat is beyond him but the more the run into each other, the more they seem to rub off on each other.

Alaija was almost caught in Azalea Town and found himself having to rely on Dippy of all people to bail him out. They aren't friends, but it's the first time they genuinely get to meet. After that, he finds himself slowing down, and knowing the fate of the world could be resting with this idiot, he even starts training Dippy on how to stand up to the Rockets. Admittedly, his powers are no match for them, but at least Dippy has the Voices on his side. And after hearing what happened with Virginia and witnessing first hand with Red0, he knows better than to underestimate a Host. They talk more often and he slowly warms up to the idea that maybe taking time to care for his Pokemon can make them better as well. Turns out, it might even make him better too. And when it turns out somewhere along the line Dippy surpassed him? Then... Maybe he can trust things will be okay. With the Rockets gone, for the first time in his life, Alaija has time for self reflection. He's got a home for the first time in years, and can feel safe setting foot back in Kanto again. ...Then Dippy brought home Red0. Alaija is glad the kid has no idea who he is, but seeing him brings back memories. He's also quite scared of Red0's power as his own pales in comparison. They may both be Glitched, but there's still a hierarchy there. Hearing what happened to the kid makes him sick. And when Dippy tells him about Mt. Silver, Alaija feels his fears returning. Given Red0's history, he can't shake the feeling this has Grimsley's hands all over it. He doesn't have the heart to tell the kid though. He wouldn't want to bring up bad blood anyway.

Dippy knows his friends have a lot of stuff to work through, but that's okay. He'll use whatever resources he can gather to help them every step of the way. It actually gets a lot better when fellow RR escapee Nia shows up to reunite with her little brother. She helps a lot with Red0 too with her nature loving ways. It's still sad to see how it affects them all though when GBlaze Black 2 comes around though. Dippy makes Alaija stay home just to be safe. There's no telling what Grimsley planned to do if he went. Red0 is a little better with Dippy, Nia, and Izzy there to both protect him and keep him in line.

[fkyumerica]

roofers put phone calls to their dentist mark and his first set of gay sons

"I need it"

it makes me hear people downstairs that I do not live with

at a near... and nearrr SoUnDdssSSsSs

it is really annoying

and they try and make other sounds louder, like fingernails

they pull on a giant wire to use it as a magnet to ReAR rape people

they knew rear is the sound word for it

"and keep making it going till its that sound"

and their group is maya de angela

they are four black men

that are this

"and I rape my kids with you to find the problem thats wrong with me"

next generation

"near"

"so what we fuck our kids and switch them around (give them our infants to marry older men and women) so we get more, to love."

"then we eat anything we see garbage on the ground or if we break in a house anything left over there with a younger age and stay and fuck in there"

"then we try and see if we can live in it i dunno give her a few pills"

"see let out so much alcohol she fell down now go and get her and fuck her"

she, a older female, gave leon a infant to marry "no one did" so he mated with it and the term "play around" was it after

he made a annoying gay "boy" group of gay older males, who tried to stay a small size of a older "boy" and "stand there and know"

it meant know they are rapists who want to fuck that age group of infants and children, and younger girls get in the back crowd of us waiting for us and beg for us

then they were in boy bands on stilts, still older males, shorter generation

they would fuck black men in their age group like nuts

"and all the girl groups together see boy groups dressed as girls together and they gotta go"

go sleep around is all they want to do, and play too, look at the fair

lights on and off, toys, "wtf else do you want"

cleopatra is 4ft taller than david

I can tell which "well dressed" groups married older men, and are still waiting to marry

I look 13 still.

iggy azalea is him

a lot of them were neutered, call it chimpanzee fights

"I found out I don't want you"

then they regain, break in every yard in front of the church festival

and angie williams is male, and found out to be their severely autistic neutered male prostitute they put makeup on to look transgender

and he pretends to be a mother, and orders other gay men to do the same and take in girls, into houses they break into, and pretend to be families

their time is up

they keep screaming down the street at me "NO!"

I killed men in fist fights and I can see blind.

[macybeckham7]

Grid Kids

Azalea #5

Azalea was sat in the paddock, there was a red flag and she found herself clicking on the interview Lewis and Cairo did together. It was ahead of this season, they were sat in the living room of the London house. 

‘Who is your favourite child?’ Cairo smirks. 

Lewis rolls his eyes. ‘It depends on the day, which ever one isn’t giving me a headache’ he laughs. ‘And that is mostly Lea’ he adds. She smiles down at the screen. 

‘Who is your biggest rival going to be this season?’ he reads the card in his hand. 

‘Truthfully, Azalea. You know she is a Hamilton and I believe she has more natural talent than me, and with Michael, they seem like a scary team’ he admits. 

She looks around the paddock and finds him sat on the chair with Adelaide sat on his lap, they were both in their own little world. For her, she was always so jealous of her brother, he exuded talent, he had more talent in his little finger than all her 5′6 self. She could go on track and leave everything out there, and he could easily do the same, but with less effort. 

She searching up the driving standings, clicked on the link and waited for it to load up. 

Driving Championship table: 

C Hamilton- 291

A Hamilton - 290

J Verstappen- 289

J Leclerc- 287

There was still a lot to play for. And that was what excited the fans. It was the Grid Kids all competing. 

There was suddenly hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze which made her pull a face, she looks up and saw Michael Schumacher. Since she was young, she had always looked up to him, he was one of her hero's. He saw her as his own, while a lot of people pushed Cairo, he saw her as the next big thing. There was a lot of times the two of them got into a big argument, and both leaving with a limp like a wounded animal, but their love never faded. Lewis trusted him with his daughters career and knew he would walk to the end of the Earth for her. 

‘How are you my little lion cub?’ he asks still massaging her shoulders, not letting her get away from him. 

He has always called her a lion cub, because she was still a baby (in the formula one world) and despite her cuteness, she was dangerous and could do damage if you go to her unprotected. And it was only a matter of time till she grew up to be a lion, the king (or queen) of the jungle. 

‘Ok’ she nods. Before the red flag she was in pole position, there was only 10 laps to go, so this couldn’t of come at a bad time for her. 

‘You have Cairo and the Jack-ass behind you, defend and do not let them pass’ he explains. The Jack-ass being Jules, safe to say he wasn’t a big fan of him. He had comforted her, most occassions. When she felt her heart was being blended, he was there to tell her ‘he doesn’t deserve you, you are a diamond’. 

That was probably why she didn’t have him back or forgive him so quickly. Azalea would do anything for him, she hated him for how he made her feel. But she loved him more. And that was also probably why she was giving Jacob a chance. ‘He is a good kid’ he mumbles as he sent her some flowers to the Ferrari office. ‘He can’t do any worse than the fucker’ he smiles. 

The race finished with Azalea on pole and Jacob second with Cario coming in third. Jacob suggested that the three of them should go for food. ‘Can’t I’m sorry, you two have fun though’ he smiles. 

So that was why the two were in a booth in a sushi place. Jacob’s arm was wrapped around the back of Azalea as they talked. When they weren’t hating each other they actually got on. Jacob was telling a funny story about how he had a few dates with a girl and they were on a trail on two horses. And how his horse got spooked and he couldn’t for the life of him stop the horse, so he was holding on for his life. Her head goes back as she was properly laughing about the story, making tears come out of her eyes, as Jacob just watched her. 

‘Well what do we have here?’ a voice appears, they both look up and see Jules. ‘Been texting you and find out you are here with him, couldn’t you find someone better, at least make me jealous’ he says before getting into the booth. 

Azalea shifts awkwardly while Jacob moves his arm and the two making room between them. 

‘This is cute’ he smiles between the two of them. ‘How long has this been going on?’ he raises his brows at Azalea. 

‘I don’t know why you are offended, aren’t you the one who cheated on her?’ Jacob asks. 

Jules ignores him as he just stares at Azalea. Even though she wouldn’t like to admit it, he was only a few people who really knew her. It felt like he could see into her soul which freaked her out. She dropped the eye contact, which just made him laugh.

‘Fuck you!’ you snaps looking up at him. ‘Fuck you for making me fall in love with you, making me bring my walls down just for you to fuck me over!’ she says a little too loudly than she expected. 

The three of them didn’t care that they had everyone’s attention. ‘I know that it was nothing about me, I know my worth’ she smiles. ‘You should leave’ 

Jacob stands up and tells him that he needed to leave, he laughs as he stands up to him. Azalea didn’t hear what he whispered into his rivals ear, but it must of been bad as Jacob swung for him and punched him in the jaw. And next minute they were having a fight. Jacob had Jules on the floor and was punching him, and then they switched. 

‘Jules get off him!’ Azalea shouts, she looks around shouting for anyone to help. 

That night, Azalea stayed with Jacob. She got the first aid kit out as he refused to go to A&E. And they shared a kiss. 

----

The whole week Azalea and Jacob were together, they travelled together and slept cuddled up. Max and Lewis giving each other questioning looks. It was news to them that they could even stand to be in each other’s company let alone all over each other. 

There was extra eyes on Azalea ahead of the GP that weekend. She kept her earphones on to block out the noise. She was starting sandwiched between the two of them, which made it even more exciting. Jules was zoned in and could see the massive target on the #5. The red lights light up above the grid cars and then the flag was waved and it was go time. All the cars weaved around each other as everyone wanted to find a gap to get further up the grid. Jules gets up the side of Azalea which makes her in the middle of him and Jacob. She was closed in and she suddenly went up. All her wheels were off the floor and she goes into the board. 

It was like slow motion, she knew it was inevitable that she was going to have a bad impact. 

You could hear a pin drop around the track. The red flag was being waved as Michael told Cairo it was Azalea. He parks up on the side, as the cars all go past him. ‘Cairo what are you doing?’ Michael asks. He unbuckles himself and climbs out the car, he didn’t care about the points, or the race or even the season, He just needed to know his little sister was alright. The dust settled from the gravel and he saw how the car was. A steward holds onto him as he was shouting her name. Lewis and Michael were stood together just watching on in shock, both praying. Adelaide held Gisela as she was crying. 

Jules and Jacob walk into the paddock, Gisela launches for the ex and starts hitting his chest, blaming him. 

Cairo goes to the car as the stewards try to work out how to get her out of the car. ‘Please get me out of her’ she cries as he leans over to take her hand. ‘You’ll be out, just hold tight’ he says with a smile, she gently squeezes his hand.

‘You need to move back’ someone says to him. 

He looks down at his sister who shakes her head, he could see the look in her eyes that she was scared and hurt. ‘I am not leaving her’ he says. ‘Get her fucking out!’ he shouts. 

After a while she was out, Cairo holding her as she walks to the ambulance which she demanded she would to let everyone know she was ok. 

-----

‘What happened?’ she asks as she sits in the hospital bed. ‘I don’t think we should talk about it?’ Adelaide quickly says. 

She feels the tension in the room between Jacob, Cairo, Gisela and Elias. She could hear shouting coming from the corridor, which when she listened hard enough she could tell the voices belonged to Michael, Sebastian, Lewis and Jules. She looks at Jacob and looks at him. 

‘It was him wasn’t it’ she says with her voice breaking. 

He didn’t have to say it, she knew. She pulled all the wires off her and gets out of bed and storms out. 

‘What is your problem? Wanted to hurt me more than you already have?’ she shouts walking towards him, with the four of them hot on her heels. 

‘It was an accident, I would never’ 

‘What have you forgot how to fucking drive like a normal human being? Have all your sluts sucked out your talent?’ she sasses. Sebastian stays in the middle of them. ‘Fuck you’ she yells letting Jacob pull her away and back into her room. 

[amor-immortalem]

I Think I'm OKAY

genre: Angst, hurt comfort

length: two parter

warning(s): Feelings of abandonment, self-depreciating thoughts, suicidal thoughts (briefly), feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unneeded and unloved

A/N: its just been a day guys. And Ive been think about this all day so I just wrote to get tge thoughs out of my head.

this takes place a few months after the epilogue of Everything Undesired where Azalea is still coming to grips with the fact that she's not her father's heir like she always thought she had been. Mammon and Arella really did try to make time for her but things just never worked out in their favor and it ended up giving their daughter abandonment issues.

She’s lost. Not physically but mentally- Azalea doesn’t know where to go or what her purpose is. Ever since her older brother returned from where ever the hell he’s been her whole life, she’s felt more alone than ever before. From her parents being busier than ever helping Cyrus readjust to life here in the Devildom to her twin brother being curious enough about their new older brother to spend all his time trying to get to know him, no one has time for Azalea any more.

Whenever she tries to reach out to either her parents or her brother she gets blown off. It’s always ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t make it.’ or ‘I’m sorry, I forgot that was today.’ Forgot? How does one just forget about their child? And Azalea is sorry too. She’s sorry for existing. Maybe everyone is just tired of her. Maybe they didn’t need her anymore? After all, she was just her father’s back up plan. A back up plan. Yeah, it sounded as bad as it hurt- to think that’s the only reason he kept her around all this time. Despite how she might try, all she could ever do is fuck up. Why would her parents ever need a child like that?

She feels abandoned, unneeded. All she ever wanted was to make them proud- she pushed herself to maintain the perfect grades just for their praise. Hell, she’d even forced herself to take advanced placement and honors courses just for their approval but they hadn’t even noticed. And it’s not like she hadn’t tried to show them. The last report card she got in her last year of middle school had a note attached to it stating that when she entered RAD, she’d be welcomed into the advanced courses but of course they had been too busy to even look. Both of her parents assumed nothing had changed so they just didn’t need to see something they had seen hundreds of times already.

Why did they stop loving me? The half-demon thinks to herself, Was it all the fights? Was I not good enough for them? I wish I could make them happy the way my brothers do. I wish I was perfect like them, maybe then they wouldn’t have forgotten about me. Maybe I would still belong. What did I do wrong? Azalea can feel the tears dripping down her face. I’m crying? Again? Pathetic. People like me don’t cry.

She hurriedly wipes them away as she looks up at the stars that dot the night sky of the Devildom. She’s pretty high up on a rooftop. She wonders if a fall from this height might kill her or would it just leave her badly injured- the idea’s tempting. She’d come up here to clear her mind and sort out her feelings with how things had changed- how everything she thought she was meant to be had been ripped away from her, but it had just made things worse. She thought she was okay with all this change but after trying for months to find something new to do with the rest of forever, she found out the only thing she was ever any good at was getting into fights. Sure, she’d taken up sports on her uncle Beel’s suggestion but that led to even more pain when time after time, neither of her parents could be bothered show up.

Her phone lights up with a text from her father.

Dad:

Why weren’t ya at dinner today?

Azalea:

Why weren’t you and Mum at my meet today? Ya know like you promised ya would be?

Dad:

‘Zay c’mon don’t be like that. We said we were sorry but something important came up and we couldn’t make it

Azalea:

Sure whatever you say old man

Its what you always say

It's always something more important ain’t it?

Something more important than me.

Dad:

Azalea

Azalea:

Shove it old man. I don’t wanna hear it right now.

She always gets the short end of the stick. For parents that claim they care about her, they sure had a shitty way of showing it. As the family’s resident trouble maker, she’s not good enough for them. Whatever, she doesn’t even need them anyway. She deserves better than a family that doesn’t care. A family she no longer has a place in. And that was fine by her. Now that she’d finally admitted it to herself, she found it would be easier to ignore her entire family and live life depending on only herself.

With a shuddering huff, the girl shuts her D.D.D off and shoves it in her jacket pocket. She leaves the roof top, still in tears headed for the House of Lamentation.

------------------------------------------------------

“Arella, I have to go and find our daughter.” Mammon sighs as he gets his jacket on.

“She’s still upset about the track meet, isn’t she?” The black-haired human frowns “If you’ll give me a moment, I can ask Aurelius if he’ll watch Mahlon and I’ll go with you. This is something we should address together.”

“I don’t think we got the time to waste, Hon. She stopped respondin’ ta my texts and isn’t answerin’ her phone. If I don’t go now, she might so something to herself. I’ll be able to cover more ground quicker if I fly since she could be anywhere- even up high where we wouldn’t be able to see her that easily.”

“Then go on, I’ll talk to her when she gets home.” Arella nods as her husband leaves.

------------------------------------------------------

She enters her room through the garage door entrance. She really didn’t need to considering Azalea was the only one home currently. She knew Aurelius and Zulima would be gone for the rest of the weekend but still she locked her door to prevent any unwanted visitors- mainly her parents as she knew they’d probably come looking for her after the message she’d sent to her father earlier.

She looked over at the stack of unopened akuzon boxes- all gifts sent to her by her parents as ‘apologies’ for various things. Yeah sure, gifts were nice when they were for things like birthdays or Christmas but not when they were used as a way to placate her feelings when her parents missed things like track meets or science fairs or school functions that they promised they would be there for. It felt like a shallow apology so Azalea never opened any of them. They were starting to collect dust now.

Just because greed is her sin doesn’t mean its satisfied by material objects alone. There was more to it than that. Her sin specifically manifests with being greedy for healthy interpersonal relationships- things like money or material objects only did the bare minimum to help keep it under control and satisfied. She wanted her parents’ attention and only that so when they failed to keep their promises, it hurts her deeper than either of them understands- Azalea doesn’t even have the words to describe how it hurts her.

As she plops down on her sectional and flips on the projection of stars and constellations from the human world to calm herself down, she thinks about the way her greed is eating her alive as she turns on some music- a song her friend from the human world showed her called ‘I Think I’m Okay’. It was a song she really related to for some reason. As the song plays on loop, she thinks about how when she was younger- before her youngest brother was born- she was always of healthy weight and body condition. Nowadays with the lack of ability to satisfy her sin, she was just skin and bone. Despite eating constantly, she always feels like she’s starving and she’d be lucky if she weighed in at 90 pounds soaking wet- all of it coming from the weight of her bones and muscle. Her body is just burning through everything too fast and at this point Azalea doesn’t know whether or not she even has the energy to waste to transform into her demon form anymore.

The half-demon hears a faint knock at the door. Maybe if she doesn’t answer then whoever it is will get the hint and go away. As she watches the door open, a scowl appears on her face. Of course her father would pick the lock on her door. She doesn’t know why she’s even surprised right now. He never knows when to leave well enough alone.

“We need to talk...” Mammon says as he sits down on the couch next to her.

“I don’t wanna. Get lost.” the teenager rolls on to her side away from her father.

“Too bad. I’m not leavin’ until we do.”

“Then prepare ta die in here cuz I refuse.” She can’t let him fool her into accepting his apology when she knows full well he doesn’t mean it.

“You really are just like your ma sometimes- stubborn as all get out.” He sighs. “I see ya never opened yer packages. Why?”

She continued to ignore him. How can she get out of this? Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could fool him into thinking she was asleep.

Just get frustrated and leave already. It’s what ya always do when I won’t talk to ya.

She waits an hour, two, three but still he doesn’t leave.

Man is this getting annoying! Why won’t he just give up and go home already?

“Well, since ya won’t talk, I will. Ya know, Mom and I really are sorry we couldn’t be there this afternoon... I know you’re upset about it but we got called to an emergency meeting at the castle and we... kinda... forgot what time it was by time we were done.  I know we don’t have a lot of time to spend with ya anymore but things are just so crazy right now... it’s difficult and when ya act like a brat like this it doesn’t make things any easier.” And Mammon realizes too late that he’s said the wrong thing and put his foot in his mouth.

“Right... cuz that’s all I am is a spoiled brat...” Azalea can’t help the way her voice quakes. “I’m a brat because I asked for you and mum to pay attention to me over the boys just this once and you two let me down and now, I’m getting blamed for being as upset as I am. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.”

“Azalea, that’s not what I meant and you know that,” Mammon places his hand on her shoulder to turn her over and is shocked when all he feels is bone and muscles that are beginning to atrophy. “What are you doing to yourself? Yer nothin’ but skin an’ bone, Baby.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHOSE DOING THIS TO ME!” she roars as she hops up from the couch. “IT’S YOU TWO. YOU’RE THE ONES DOING THIS TO ME!” and then her voice suddenly drops. “But you would notice that if you spent more than five seconds with me. My greed is eating me alive and it’s your fault. I’ve tried for months to get you or Mum to spend time with me and I get forgotten about every time because something ‘more important’ comes up or you also make plans with Aurelius or Cyrus and choose to do that over spending time with me. It’s either that or you both choose Mahlon over me and it’s literally killing me. I get that they all need you guys too and I’m not more important than them but it feels like they’re more important to you than me. And I hate it because...” She lets out a sob as she sinks to her knees, “Because you two are the most important people to me.”

Mammon looks at his daughter with a horrified look on his face. His only daughter feels like she’s not important to them but she was right in a way. Both he and Arella had been choosing her brothers over her- not intentionally but he can see why she would come to that conclusion. This was a very crucial time in her life having had everything she thought she was taken away and she was lost with no clue where to go. He and her mother should have been right by her side, helping her find a new path in life this whole time but instead they got so wrapped up in work and other things that now their daughter was suffering the consequences.

“No, baby that’s not true.” The demon says as he wraps his little girl up in his arms. “You are so important to us too.” He rubs her back as he rocks her back and forth, “We love you so much and I’m so sorry we haven’t made ya feel like that. We’re gonna do better from now on. I promise, okay?”

Azalea is hesitant to nod. How many times had she heard the word promise and then had that promise broken but even now as she’s wrapped up in her father’s arms, she’s starting to feel the overwhelming weight of her sin slowly start to go away. She just rests her head against his chest as her puffy teary blue to gold eyes start to slip closed ever so slowly.

“Sweet dreams, Princess.” He says as he runs he hand through her hair and places a kiss to the top of her head.

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Find more on my masterlist

[princessjaqulinechess1031]

dance in the park

summary: Damian and Marinette go for a walk in the park. 

characters: Damian Wayne, Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Marinette’s arm was hooked into the crook of Damian’s elbow, the soft spring breeze blowing her pigtails so that swayed just a little. Damian and she walked through the garden of Gotham’s city park. Marinette’s sketch pad was tucked under her arm in case she found something to inspire her, but for now, she was content to just walk with her boyfriend.

Marinette reached out to skim her fingers along the edge of an azalea.

“They really are beautiful,” Marinette said. Damian smiled from next to her.

“Yes, they are,” Damian said. Damian reached to the bush to his right and picked off one of the azaleas and stuck it behind Marinette’s ear. Marinette colored red and turned away from him with a quiet thank you, and she felt her stomach twist. The pink in the flower matched the skirt of her dress and made her eyes pop even more than they usually did, making her appear like a beautiful doll come to life.

They kept walking onward, nothing but sweet, comfortable silence following them. No words were needed to be spoken between them. It was moments of these silences that Marinette knew and heard more about Damian was than when he told her. The way he smiled when the sun first appeared after a rainstorm, the crinkle of his brow and the way he bit his tongue when he was confused, and even the way he turned his head when someone grabbed his attention. It told her the real Damian, not the one he put up as a front.

Marinette breathed in the scent of the flowers. She knew her sinuses were going to be unkind to her later for daring to enjoy the smell of a flower, but for now, she didn’t care. The aromatic scent only highlighted the joy she felt to be here with Damian.

In the corner of the park was a small ice cream vendor, and upon catching Marinette’s piqued interest in it, Damian lead them over to where the man was smelling it. They ordered (strawberry, the only correct ice cream as far as Marinette was concerned) and sat down on a bench in the midst of the flowery walkway.

“In Paris, there’s a man who sells ice cream on the bridge of the Seine,” Marinette said, nibbling on her cone. “André. They say he’ll make an ice cream that is a perfect mixture of you and your soulmate.”

Damian raised a brow.

“Was he actually right?”

Marinette shrugged.

“Sometimes.” Marinette smiled fondly. “Once, he gave me, Kagami, and Adrien a choice. To choose between which combinations we thought were best.” Marinette still remembered that day. It was the day things started to go downhill very quickly. She became the Guardian, she gave up on Adrien forever, and all the responsibility of the world felt like it had fallen on her shoulders.

Still, she smiled when she thought of that moment. Kagami and Adrien were two of her closest friends still. And that was the moment that solidified how much she cared about them. Marinette would give up anything for her friends. Sometimes that was strength, sometimes that was a weakness. Marinette chooses to think of it as good quality.

“What do you guys pick?” Damian asked.

“Adrien and Kagami couldn’t decide,” Marinette said. “I picked for them – their combination. It was the best choice.” She smiled up at Damian. “Otherwise, I might not have found you.”

Damian blushed and looked away. “Oh.”

Marinette laughed.

“Did I just make the ever-stoic Damian Wayne blush?” Marinette said.

“Well, when my girlfriend says nice things about me, I’m going to blush,” Damian said. Marinette took a small lick of her ice cream cone, looking down and away mischievously.

It really was for the best Marinette let Adrien go that day. If not, she never would have gotten him as her brother. He was her family now, the thing she could always hold onto even in the darkest parts of her life. He was a light that helped her stumble through.

And Damian…If Marinette had never met Damian, oh, Marinette might not know what she would do. Damian was many things – grouchy, stoic, and a little bit of a brat at times, but he was also so much more. Fiercely loyal and protective, kind to those he loved, and determined to be and do the best he could, even when he failed in the endeavor.

Damian had been there when Marinette first moved to Gotham, and Robin had been there when Ladybug first spread her wings here. Without both of them, she might not have made it through the move. Ladybug may have never come out of her shell again.

“That must be why you don’t blush a lot,” Marinette said. “There’s just so much to make fun of, I never get the chance to be nice.” Damian laughed at her teasing.

“You wound me, nawaret aynaya,” Damian said. Marinette laughed and put her head on his shoulder, shutting in her eyes and taking in the sounds and smell of the days around her.

She wished she could freeze this moment. No more villains or Miracle Boxes. Just a girl and a boy on a bench, eating ice cream and looking at flowers. Marinette loved being Ladybug and being Guardian, but it was so so much pressure. And she knew the pressure of being Robin weighed down on Damian. Especially since he was getting older, and pressure was mounting for him to go solo and take on a new identity.

“I love you, ma moitié,” Marinette said softly, barely above a whisper. Damian still heard her, as a moment later, he was repeating the sentiment back to her.

“I love you too.”

Marinette finished her ice cream cone and then stood, offering a hand to Damian and a smile.

“Dance with me,” Marinette said. Damian blinked up at her in confusion.

“What?” he asked. Marinette smiled and took his hand, pulling him to his feet. Damian was slightly startled, looking down at her in intense contemplation and confusion.

“Dance with me,” Marinette said. “I know there’s no music, but….”

Damian sighed, but did as Marinette asked. He placed his hands just a gentle hair above her hips, and Marinette slipped her hands around his neck. It wasn’t much of a dance, more of just swaying in a circular motion, but Marinette did not care. Nor did she care about the people who stared at them, all of whom looked at them like they were insane.

Marinette loved to dance with Damian, the feeling of his skin against hers, it made her feel alive. Made a moment feel like forever. And Marinette wanted this moment to be forever. To just be a normal couple in the park, making a complete fool of themselves because they were so in love.

That’s all she wanted, was it really so much to ask?

Marinette rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, taking in the sweet smell of the flowers and the familiar smell of paper and salt that was Damian. There was a faint twinge of sweat in there, but it was not repellant, it was just Damian and Marinette did not mind it. Damian rested his head on top of Marinette’s, making Marinette feel compacted like she was being pulled into Damian and kept safe by just his touch.

Marinette did not know how long they stood there, just the two of them, it could have been minutes. It could have been forever. She didn’t know. If this was eternity, then let it be. If it was just a minute, let her hold on to that minute and keep it close to her heart.

Marinette started to hum after a moment, and it was an unintelligible song, one with no real beat or repetition. It was more of just a quiet hum of enjoyment, but Damian joined in with her, creating a soft symphony of hums for them to dance to.

A wave of warmth took hold of them, and Marinette curled closer into Damian’s chest. Damian laughed and kissed her temple.

“You’re a wonderful dancer, you know,” Damian said. Marinette swatted at his arm playfully and did not look up from where she had snuggled into his sweatshirt. It was nice in the sweatshirt. Not too loud, and the warmth of a man she loved shrouding her from the breeze.

“Shut up,” Marinette said. Damian chuckled, causing a rumbling under Marinette’s head. “This isn’t really dancing.”

They hadn’t really danced since the night they first met at the gala at Wayne Manor. This was just dancing in the loosest sense of the word, but it still felt like Marinette was flying and that her heart may explode with joy.

“Come on,” Damian said, finally stepping away from her. Marinette looked up at him with a pouty face, but Damian just shook his head. “Father is expecting us back in a half-hour. If we’re not, he’ll send a search party.

“But I don’t want to go back,” Marinette said. “I want to stay here with you.”

Damian laughed. “We’re just going home. I promise we can dance more when we get there.”

Marinette sighed and picked up her sketchbook from the bench. She had intended to get some inspiration somewhere along the line today, but she preferred spending time with Damian more anyway.

“You promise?”

“Promise.”

Notes:

questions, comments, or concerns? let me know! have a blessed day!

--PrincessChess

[chxrry-fairy]

𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖉𝖆𝖞𝖘 \ 𝖑.𝖏𝖓

𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: boyfriend!lee jeno x reader

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff

Jeno slowly took my hand intertwining our fingers as we quietly sat on a bench. It was spring and the cherry trees were blooming as well as the little daisies, forsythias, and azaleas that you could see everywhere. Today was our first date after weeks, which we decided to spend in the park near our university. The past weeks have been busy due to exams and projects but we were finally able to spend and enjoy some time together. "I missed you a lot" Jeno suddenly said. "I missed you too..." I said, watching a bee landing on one of the azaleas. I laid my head on his shoulder "You were right Jeno, it really is beautiful here." He smiled "I knew you would like it. How about some ice cream y/n?". I look up to him "That would be awesome". "Wait here, I'll get us some," He said quickly and went to the ice cream truck that stood by the fountain.

Jeno came back minutes later with the ice cream. I laid my head back down on his shoulder as we began eating. We quietly enjoyed each other's company, listening to the background noises of children playing, dogs barking and people talking. That was until some of my ice cream dripped down on my dress. I jumped up "Oh no!". I fastly searched for a tissue in my bag while Jeno watched me, trying to suppress his laughter but failing to do so. "How does this always happen to you?", he asked. I shook my head "That's what I'm asking myself all the time." Jeno also grabs a tissue to help me clean my dress, but just as he was about to lean forward his whole ice cream fell into his lap, staining his pants. "Shit!" he exclaimed making me laugh. "Well... if that's not a sign that we belong together, then I don't know what is.", he sighed. I smiled, ignoring my own stain only to watch him aggressively trying to wipe away as much of the ice cream off his pants as possible. "Why doesn't it go off?". Jeno sighed in defeat, throwing the remaining ice cream as well as our tissues in the garbage.

He sat back down and I took his hand like he did earlier, looking up smiling at him "It's fine". He nodded slowly brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "You know, you look cute when you're annoyed", I said grinning. Jeno laughed, shaking his head "Are you flirting with me?". "Me? Flirting?" I chuckled until he laid one of his hands on my cheek. While looking into my eyes his face came closer to mine "You better be careful or else-". "Or else what?", I chuckled again. "Or else I am going to kiss you until you drop to the floor.". "Lee Jeno, was that a threat?". This time it was me who moved her face closer to his, our lips almost touching. Jeno put his hands on both my cheeks and carefully kissed me.

"I don't know what has gotten into you", he smiled "but I kind of like it.". "What happened to 'kissing till you drop to the floor'? Already forgotten?". Jeno shook his head, laughing happily.

- 0.53k

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Delicate. — Part 2.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: Part 2, let’s gooo. as always, feedback is very much appreciated! Let me know what you think or what you would like to see next. thank you for reading!

catch up here!

"Stupid cheesecake recipe."

"Over baking wasn't exactly on the recipe, J." 

"Oh, shut up. Yours is dry as fuck."

Y/n opened her mouth, pretending to be offended. The pair was currently having a little baking competition that clearly went wrong since none of them can bake. Now, Y/n was pretty good at cooking in general, but for some reason baking just wasn't her thing. And obviously, it wasn't Jensen's thing either. 

"I hope you clean this mess after you're done." The truth was, Louise wasn't surprised by the mess her children had made and didn't mind it either. The age difference between both of them was big, so growing up there wasn't much they could do to bond. Right now, however, they were so much closer than they were before, and Jensen and Y/n had more things in common and more options of activities they could do together, like baking. 

Even if they were bad at it. 

"I invited Harry and Sarah tonight. They're having dinner with us." Louise spoke again, grabbing a rag and starting to wipe off the flour on the kitchen island. 

"Who's Sarah?" Y/n asked, cleaning the flour on her left cheek. She tried to ignore the growing butterflies in her stomach at the mention of Harry. She'd be lying if she said she hasn't thought about him since their last encounter, even went as far as trying to look for him on the internet but she got nothing. But the mention of another woman made her feel confused. Was he married or something? Don't blame her, the guy wears a lot of rings.  

"The owner of that cat café I took you to the other day. She's great, don't worry." 

Jensen nudged her playfully, and she rolled her eyes in return. "I'll take a shower." She announced before marching out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her old room. She wanted to clean herself up before Harry arrived, although she didn't know why. Looking through the clothes she kept at her mother's house, she settled in a plain, long blue dress with spaghetti straps and a pair of sandals. She didn't want to look overdressed but also didn't want to just wear a pair of sweatpants like she's been wearing all afternoon. 

"Do you remember when mom tried to set me up with that girl who worked at the restaurant on the other side of town?" Jensen entered the room without knocking, running his fingers through his hair. He was also fresh out of the shower. 

"Madison?" Jensen hummed in response. "She was nice. Why did you stop going out with her?"

"Because mom only did it because she thought I was lonely.?"

"What's your point?" She looked at him after grabbing a hairbrush from the vanity. 

"That she's doing the same now with Harry? Duh."

"Woah, I've met the man once. And I've tried going out with people she sets me up with, and we never click."

//

Y/n tried to play it cool when she heard the gates open, busying herself with whatever as the doorbell rang and Louise hurried towards the door. Harry and a gorgeous brunette stepped into the house, smiling widely at the middle-aged woman. 

"Come on in! I'm so glad you could make it."

"You have a lovely home, Louise." Harry's deep voice along with that accent of his sent shivers down Y/n's spine. She had a weak spot for British people and she didn't know why. 

"I'm sorry Mitch couldn't make it." The woman beside Harry said. 

"Oh, it's okay. There's always next time."

The three of them walked into the living room where everyone else was sitting. Jensen stood up and high-fived Harry before giving Sarah a side hug. A smirk appeared on Harry's face as Y/n came into his view. "Hello again, love."

"Hi, Harry." Y/n returned his little salute. "Azaleas are doing great, by the way." She jokingly said. 

"Knew you would keep them alive." He gave her a little wink before giving her a quick hug. 

Sarah introduced herself and Y/n did the same, accepting her hand to shake. Y/n had to admit, she was really pretty. Along with her brown hair, she had a pair of blue eyes and an inviting smile. If Harry was really dating Sarah, then he was a lucky man. 

Throughout the dinner, Y/n didn't say much. She'd occasionally steal little glazes at Harry and admired how gorgeous he looked tonight. It was funny, Y/n had this feeling in her tummy every time she's seen him, which by the way has only been twice, and she grew nervous out of nowhere. It was almost like she was too shy to speak to him, which was weird considering she was a pro at holding conversations as she's been trained to do so. Sometimes she'd stare for too long and Harry would notice and smile her way. Y/n felt like a teenager with a highschool crush. She tried to convince herself she didn't like him that way and she was just taken back at how pretty he was. 

Dinner was over and Harry insisted on helping with the dishes despite Louise's protests. So now it was just Y/n and Harry in the kitchen putting everything in the dishwasher while sipping on white wine. 

"How can you put ice on it?" Harry asked, nodding at her glass filled with wine and ice. "When the ice melts it just tastes like water."

"I like it really cold but I don't like keeping the bottles in the freezer." She explained, taking a sip from her glass. "So how do you know Sarah?" 

"She was the first friend I made when I came here. She's also British so we became fast friends. Plus, he's dating my best friend and co-worker."

"Oh." She said, processing the information. Perhaps that Mitch guy Sarah mentioned was her boyfriend and not Harry. Suddenly, she felt a wave of relief but then again, why?

"Can I say something without sounding creepy?"

"S-sure?" 

"My sister is a massive fan of yours. When we still lived with my mum, you were all she listened to."

"I'm sorry." She joked and he breathed a laugh. "Well, tell her I say hi, please."

"Will do."

"So..." She dragged the word. "You knew who I was?"

"Obviously I don't live under a rock." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'm just not invested in that whole world as other people, you know? I don't even own an Instagram account or anything." Harry shrugged.

So that's why she couldn't find him anywhere, she thought. A feeling of excitement ran through her veins. Harry knew who she was, but he didn't care. Being treated like a normal person was a luxury Y/n didn't have anymore, so it was safe to say she felt happy knowing he'd treat her like one. 

They finished the task in silence, but Y/n couldn't contain the little smile forming on her face and honestly, Harry couldn't either. 

She was curious about him. What was he doing in her hometown if he was from the other side of the world? What did he do in his free time? Where did he get so many cool rings? Did he always want to be a florist? Why was he a florist? She had a million questions she wanted to ask, feeling genuinely intrigued by him. Harry could easily come off as an intimidating man, but what she has noticed from him was completely different. 

Harry was shy, incredibly so. But he was also cheeky, and silly and had a boyish smile that he could change into an intense look in a matter of seconds if he wanted to. His green eyes were always shiny, like stars in a black sky. He also appeared to be always happy, although she couldn't be certain on that one. 

The things she was feeling right now were things she's never experienced before and that was both exciting and terrifying. 

//

"I never trust a narcissist." Y/n tasted the new lyrics she's been thinking about with a random melody on the piano. She sat in front of the instrument in her living room and this time she didn't have to squeeze her brain for one decent melody, because this time she was able to come up with one smoothly. 

Pandora was casually laying down on the floor close to Y/n while Lizzie was chilling around the house as she didn't like the sound of the piano that much. This was one of those nights when inspiration came to Y/n from nowhere, having to drag herself out of the comfiness of her bed before she forgot what her brain had come up with. She continued adding lyrics, making sure her phone was still recording everything she was doing. 

It had been a few days since she's seen her family or had any kind of human interaction and now that she was thinking about it, she kind of missed it. Now, she loved her family to pieces and would do absolutely anything for them but she missed her friends, her real friends who were thousands of miles away from her right now. She was craving that more than anything right now and that's probably why she found herself in front of The Blossom House the morning after, debating whether or not entering the shop. 

Deciding to suck it up, she opened the door of the building and stepped in, feeling the overwhelming smell of flowers hit her nostrils immediately. There were a few people in the shop, a young boy buying a bouquet of red roses and two middle-aged women that looked like they came together. Y/n tried to go unnoticed as she stepped deeper into the store. The truth was, she didn't know what she was doing there. She didn't need more flowers, that's for sure. 

She looked through her sunglasses a bouquet of daisies her mother would absolutely die for, so she decided to grab it for her. 

"Oop, sorry. That one's not done yet." Someone said from behind. She turned around and saw a man with long hair tied in a low bun and a mustache on his face. "It's a commission, actually. But I can make another one for you."

"Oh, it's fine. I'll just pick something else." She gave him a polite smile. The name on the tag read Mitch, so he must be Sarah's boyfriend. "Uh... weird question but, is Harry around?"

"Yeah, he's in the back. Want me to get him for you?" He offered but she declined. 

"It's okay. Thank you." Giving him one last smile she walked away to the other side of the room, this time looking at the roses. The white ones were her favorites and she loved looking at them. 

"Hey, stranger."  Taking advantage of the fact he couldn't see her, she smiled widely at the sound of his voice. "Fancy seeing you here." As soon as she turned around she saw the goofy dimpled smile on his face. 

"Likewise, do you work here by any means?" She smirked as he giggled, deciding to play along. 

"Darling, I own the place."

"An entrepreneur, oh my god." She pretended to fan herself with the palm of her hand and Harry let out a big laugh. 

"What brings you here? More flowers?" Something tells her he knew she wasn't here for the flowers, and it was true, as much as she wanted to tell herself she wanted a new bouquet for her mom. In reality, she wanted to see him. "Has something caught your eye so far?"

"There was this bouquet of daisies but a man told me it was for a commission?" Her words came off more like a question. 

"Oh, yes. Mitch's been working on that for a few hours now. I can tell him to make you one like that if you want. Could be done in a couple of hours."

"That would be great. I could swing by in a while to get it."

"Orrrrr, we could wait for it over a cup of coffee?"

She observed him for a while and how the dimples never disappeared from his face as he waited for her answer. He seemed confident and she really liked that. "Sounds fun." She shrugged before a smile appeared on her face, matching his. 

"Let me tell Mitch and we'll go." He said before rushing to the back of the store and returning shortly after without his apron. "Would you prefer to go to Sarah's? Because there's this one, half block away that serves good coffee."

"Let's try that one." Honestly, she'd walk whatever blocks if that meant they'd spend more time together. "As much as I loved going to Sarah's, seeing all those kittens at once makes me cry."

"I feel the same. I always take my mum there when she comes to visit, last time she came she adopted one." He mentioned. A car passed at low speed, making Y/n nervous. She tried to cover her face as much as she could with her hair and fixing her sunglasses. "Is everything okay?" Harry asked, noticing her change of behavior. 

"Uh? Oh, yes. I thought someone was watching from that car." She said in a low voice. What happened next, she would've never expected. Harry pushed her gently to the other side of the sidewalk, changing places with her so his much taller frame would cover hers.

She blushed, looking up at him but he acted like it wasn't a big deal, like it was a natural thing to do although they didn't even know each other that well. She thought he'd tell her she was being paranoid or something but instead, he chose to do something he thought would make her feel more at ease. And it worked. 

Harry held the door open for her when they arrived, guiding her to a table away from the windows and pulled out the chair for her to sit, being an absolute gentleman with her. And although Y/n insisted, Harry went for their coffees and paid for them as well, saying he was the one who invited her hence he'd be the one who pays. 

Once they were settled with their own cups of coffee, they started talking. Mostly about Harry, Y/n still didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about herself and he understood so he let her ask him anything she desired. 

"Do you go to England often?"

"Not as much as I'd like to. I try to go during summer and for the holidays, of course. Although for birthdays and such, I'm not always able to fly there." 

"You must miss your family a lot." From what she's gathered about him, he was a family guy, so being away from his must be tough. She knew it was for her. 

"I do. But I also love it here."

"Do you see yourself going back?"

"To London? Probably not. I have gotten used to being in the states so if I ever move back there full time I'd feel out of place."

She nodded along, listening to him carefully. Harry had a beautiful voice and he spoke slowly so it made it even more soothing than it already was. She swore this man could read her a bedtime story and she'd be out in the first minutes. 

They talked for some more and bought another cup of coffee for the walk back to the flower shop. They were having a great time, and although they wouldn't say it out loud, none of them wanted it to end. So it was safe to say they both felt a little sad once they arrived at The Blossom House. 

"Let me get the bouquet for you." Harry told her after they entered. He came back with a replica of the bouquet of daisies she saw earlier and she smiled. "It's on the house, tell Louise I say hi."

"You don't have to gift me flowers every time I come, you know that right?" She chuckled but grabbed the bouquet regardless. 

"I know I don't have to but who says I don't want to?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, grinning at her. 

"Thank you, Harry. For the coffee and the flowers."

"You're very welcome. I, uh, I had a great time today." He said, blushing a little.

"Me too."

"Do you think we could do it again some other time?" He asked hesitantly. 

"I'd love to, honestly." Y/n admitted, starting to blush as well. 

"So can I have your number or I'd have to wait until you come again?" He asked teasingly. "Swear I'll not sell it on e-bay."

"Can you even sell a telephone number on e-bay?" She asked, laughing as she took her phone out of her bag, handing it to him. "Feel free to text yourself so you could have mine too."

"I'll use it wisely, I promise."

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps not only for coffee but for a nice dinner."

Yeah, she definitely hoped he'd do that.

//

Tag list: @reverse-hxlland​ @cronias13

[sincerelybluevase]

Careful, Madam Chapter Six

A/N Thank you all for being so patient! I didn’t think I’d ever finish this, but the final chapter has been written. You’ll have to wait a little bit for that, since the wonderful @thegirlisuedtobe is making a beautiful teaser for it, which I obviously want to post first. But rest assured; this fic is finished after chapter seven! The previous chapters can be read here.

All night I lay thinking as to what to do. Systematically, I went through every option I could think of until I arrived at the inevitable conclusion.  

The best I could hope for was for Maxim to be convicted of murder. I didn’t see that happen any time soon, though; everyone thought he and Rebecca had had the perfect marriage, so why should he have wanted to kill her? His identification of the wrong woman could easily be explained away as an honest mistake made when he was sick with grief and horror. That could not explain why Rebecca lay dead in her cabin, but then the authorities could hardly expect Maxim to know everything, now could they?

I could accuse Maxim of killing Rebecca and testify against him instead, but I rejected that idea just as I had done earlier that day when it first occurred to me. I did not think I would be believed, and even if I was, I didn’t think people would forgive me for betraying my husband. After all, he had lifted me up out of poverty and obscurity when he made me his wife. Many already believed I was after his money; if I repaid what they thought of as his kindness by seeing to it that he got hanged, they would think me a conniving little schemer who had murdered her husband to inherit his money. It would be all over the newspapers, and so everyone would know. Reporters would harass me, everyone else would snub me. I thought I might be able to bear that, but what life would that be for my child? For there was my little stranger to think of now.  

Perhaps it would be best for the baby if I did nothing. There’s a lot to say for being born in wealth and privilege, and few children would be more privileged than the ones born with the de Winter name. Manderley was a glorious place to grow up besides. In my mind’s eye I could see my child and I on the beach dragging driftwood from the surf, laughing as Jasper chased after seagulls. Afterwards we’d have tea under the chestnut tree, and I’d cut the crusts off a sandwich, because that was how they’d like their bread. Maxim would scold our child if he saw, because he had, no time for such puerile nonsense, but it would be all right, I would shield them from his moods, his madness. Yes, I could continue to be the second Mrs de Winter, shy and silent, a quiet little thing at my husband’s side. Rebecca had played at being a devoted wife really rather successfully, hadn’t she? And she had never even loved him. I had. Surely I could pretend I still did? For my child, I could go back to being the girl I had been just a few days ago… But no, I thought as I turned on my side, watching the form of my sleeping husband in his bed, I can never be that woman again. Not after finding out Maxim had murdered Rebecca. He had killed once; what was there to prevent him from killing me, too, if I shamed him?

And I had shamed him already, hadn’t I? He simply didn’t know it yet. What I had done with Mrs Danvers would ruin him and Manderley, should it ever come out. He’d kill me for that ten times over, and Mrs Danvers, too.

Mrs Danvers. Queer, loyal Mrs Danvers. What was she doing now? What I wouldn’t give to be with her, to try and alleviate her suffering! For she must suffer greatly now that she knew her beloved Rebecca’s death was murder, and she must seethe with rage and hatred for Maxim. That was perhaps my biggest fear: that she hungered for revenge and would harm herself to get it.

To keep her, my little stranger, and myself safe, there was only one thing to do: run away with Mrs Danvers. But how to accomplish it? I had no money, and there was no ready cash at Manderley; we had accounts at every store and company so that there was no need to pay with bills and coin. Maxim had given me no jewellery during our marriage, so that couldn’t be sold either. Still, I supposed I could find a way. The most important thing was to find Mrs Danvers before she could do anything harmful, and convince her to come away with me.

If she didn’t want to run away with me, I feared my heart would break.

*

Despite my sickening worries, I must have slept then, for the next time I opened my eyes, daylight had found its way into the room. It pooled onto the floorboards, heavy and hot. The bed beside me was empty. I fumbled for my watch, saw that the inquest was about to start. Maxim had left me behind, as he said he would. Two days ago, this would have broken my heart, but that morning, I found it a mercy.

I went to the bathroom, where I vomited. Perhaps it was the baby making me sick; perhaps just the great stress of the situation I had found myself in. I brushed my teeth,  dressed quickly, then went in search of Mrs Danvers. I kept wiping my hands on my dress. What if she had gone to the inquest? I should have stayed awake. But no, I found her where I expected her to be: in Rebecca’s room.

“Oh, Mrs Danvers,” I said. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching Rebecca’s crumpled nightgown. Her eyes had turned to slits, so swollen were they from crying. She smelled of sorrow, that strange salty scent that clings to the hands and face. My heavy heart had lifted at the sight of her; now, it began to ache. “Oh, Mrs Danvers,” I repeated, “how your eyes must hurt!” Like two embers burning in her sockets, I imagined. And so, before doing anything else, I went into the bathroom and turned on the tap. I wetted my handkerchief under the cold water, then took it to her and dabbed at her eyes. She made to fend me off, stiffened, then succumbed.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Danvers. I didn’t mean to leave you after what I said. I suppose you’ve a lot of questions. I wanted to come see you sooner so we might talk about it, truly I did, but I could not find you, and then Mr de Winter wouldn’t let me out of his sight.” A drop of water course down the inside of my wrist, making me shiver.

She stilled my hand. “I always suspected he killed her,” she croaked. “She wouldn’t drown, not even in that squall, not my mistress, not she. For a year, I’ve suspected. I just couldn’t prove it. Tell me, Madam: how did he kill her?”

My throat was tight and dry. I swallowed painfully. “He shot her.”

She bared her teeth, her lips curling back like that of a corpse. “I thought he would. He’s always been a coward. He wouldn’t dare kill her with his bare hands. She would have fend him off, had he tried. Did she suffer?”

“No. She died instantly.”

“Will her bones show that he murdered her?”

I shook my head. “He said the bullet went straight through.”

“So he shall be acquitted then, won’t he? Colonel Julyan, the doctor performing the autopsy, they’re all his friends. They’ll want to believe in his innocence, and even if they didn’t, they’ll want to avoid a scandal. There’ll be no justice for my mistress. Not unless we testify.”

“They wouldn’t believe us. They think me a slutty interloper and you queer and hateful.”

Her shoulders tensed, but only for a moment; then, she slumped. She took the handkerchief from me and pressed it to her eyes so forcefully drops fell down like tears. “Thank you, Madam, for telling me.”

I sat down next to her, dimpling the mattress. The stale scent of azaleas mixed with dust rose up to meet me. “I have thought our situation over. I’ve turned every option round and round in my mind, and there’s only one thing for us to do, Mrs Danvers. We must run far, far away from here.”

She lowered the handkerchief and stared at me with those sore, burning eyes. “Run away?”

I nodded. “We can’t testify, and we can’t remain here. Would you be able to work for him as nothing had happened? I can’t go on being his wife, at any rate, not now that I know he’s a murderer. What’s there to stop him from murdering again? And there’s my little stranger to think about now, too…” I pressed a hand against my belly. How long until it would swell?

“No,” she said in a low voice, “No, I can’t work for him anymore. You are right. But he wouldn’t let you go, Madam, especially now that you’re carrying his heir. And how would we live?”

We, I thought, and through the sickness and despair, my heart fluttered, she said ‘we’. We shall do this together, she and I. I placed my hand on hers. “Working girls like us can always find something, and I’ve saved a little money when I was Mrs van Hopper’s companion. Surely you’ve saved, too?”

She nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course. I’ve always had little use for money. But I meant, do you want us to live together, Madam?”

“Yes, yes of course! I can’t imagine living without you anymore, Mrs Danvers. I think that, foolish as it may seem, I’ve come to love you deeply these past few days. It’s as if I’ve looked inside of you and seen you, really seen you, not the cold, efficient housekeeper, but the warm, feeling woman underneath.” Blood rushed to my cheeks, and I felt shy again, tortured by my anxieties. Perhaps I had been too eager, too forward. “Besides, it would be practical. To the outside world, I can be a widow and you my aunt. No one would question it.”

She sat still for a moment, then clasped my hands and brought them to her mouth, kissing them with dry lips. “No one has ever wanted to live with me like that. I’ve always been needed as a nanny, or a housekeeper. Never as a person. Thank you, Madam,” she murmured.

I rested my head against her shoulder. “When should we leave, do you reckon?” Every fibre of my being wished to never see Maxim again, but if we left too hastily, we might make mistakes that could lead Maxim to us. Better to suffer his presence for a little while longer if that meant I could be rid of him forever.

“Not quiet yet, Madam. In a month, perhaps. It gives you time to lull Mr de Winter into a false sense of security, and by then you won’t be so sick with child anymore. Besides, it will give me the time I need to prepare our journey.”

“Will it be hard for you, to leave Manderley? It has been your home for years.”

She stroked a line on the back of my hand. “It was my home because of my mistress. I’ve a new mistress now. Where she leads, I shall follow, and let her be my home.”

Tears pricked in my eyes. “And you shall be mine. My God, I can hardly wait. It shall be heaven, to be with you, to never have to see Mr de Winter again.”

“Well, well, well,” a voice said.

I got up and whipped around. My bowels turned to water and my knees were so weak I almost had to sit down again.

Maxim stood on the threshold, his face that strange waxen mask I had observed in him often when he was tired or angry. “Maxim,” I said stupidly. “I thought… the inquest…”

“That didn’t take more than an hour. A verdict of accidental death. I rushed straight home to tell you the good news, only I couldn’t find you. You can imagine my surprise when Frith told me he had seen you gone into Rebecca’s rooms. I almost didn’t follow you here, but then I thought, what power does that perverted slut hold over me now that I’ve killed her and gotten away with it? Only I didn’t expect to find that my devoted little wife has turned out to be a perverted little slut as well, scheming with a housekeeper twice her age to elope.”

“I didn’t… we weren’t…”

“You little bitch,” he hissed. He dashed through the room and struck me so quickly I barely saw his fist move. His knuckles connected with my cheekbone. The pain took a few seconds to arrive, hot and sharp.

Oh, I thought stupidly. I made to press a hand to my cheek, but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me to him. “You little bitch!” he roared, spittle flying from his mouth. “How dare you leave me?!”

He shook me so hard my teeth rattled. This, I thought with icy certainty, this is how I shall die: at the hands of my husband. Funny; he hadn’t dared kill Rebecca with his own hands, but then I had never quite measured up to his first wife, now had I?

“Stop!” I pleaded. “Maxim, please stop! You’re scaring me!”

He slapped my face with an open palm, bringing tears to my eyes. He raised his hand to strike again when Mrs Danvers said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir.”

A metallic click sounded.

Maxim turned to look at her, his hand frozen in mid-air.

Mrs Danvers was pointing a gun at him.

Tagging: @solattea, @mlletina, @msmaryadmitrievna, @alice1nwond3rland, @need-not, @halewynslady

[kaidans-alenko]

I GOT THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS BRAIN ROT OKAY IM SORRY

"You should pick dare Azalea." One of the girls at the party taunted. 

"Oh...uh….okay…" she fidgeted uncomfortably on the leather couch "dare." 

The group of girls that usually bullied her smirked to each other and started snickering "Okay, we dare you to kiss Kaidan." 

Azalea's tan skin flushed "No...I…."

"Aw come on, don't be cruel!" One of the girls laughed.

"Yeah, what did Kaidan ever do to you?" Another kid jeered. 

Azalea hung her head, right, first a kiss and the next thing she knows they're pouring pigs blood on her at prom. She looked at the group of bullies in front of her, she wished she was like the girl in that book. The abusive mother, the cruel bullies, if she had the cool mind powers too life would be so much easier. 

She looked at Kaidan next as he was laughing with his friends, unlike her Kaidan was popular, he was shy and generally kept to himself but he was sweet and funny and handsome. It was no wonder people are drawn to him.

"Fine." Azalea said as she stood up.

"Wait?...really?" 

"Yeah, you dared me after all, don't I have to?" Azalea asked, feigning innocence.

One of the girls snorted, the one who Azalea knew liked Kaidan "Fine, go ahead." She smirked at her, crossing her arms.

Taking a deep breath she marched over to Kaidan before she lost her nerve, as far as she knew Kaidan had never kissed anybody. If he had he hadn't told her. She wasn't quite sure what this feeling was but the thought of someone else being his first kiss was...uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Kai?" Azalea said softly as she came up behind him.

"Lea." His face lit up immediately upon seeing her and she swallowed hard, Kaidan was her best friend, of all the people in the room he should be the easiest to kiss so why was she suddenly so clammy? 

Azalea looked back behind her and saw the bullies from earlier whispering to each other, about her no doubt and it would be easier to just leave and let them have their fun but she didn't want Kaidan to be left alone with them.

Azalea grabbed his shoulders and pulled him close, pressing their lips together in an awkward kiss. Not only shocking each other but everyone in the room.

They pulled away as a couple kids whistled and a few laughed. Kaidan and Azalea both equally in disbelief as the other "Lea...what was…?" 

Azalea's face felt like it was on fire and she all but pushed him away "I uh...sorry!" Turning around she ran out of the house, leaving a stunned Kaidan alone in the crowd.

"Hey man, I got some mouthwash upstairs if you want to get that taste out of your mouth." The host of the party laughed, putting him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, way to take one for the team." Another teased.

Kaidan knew they were joking, as cruel as it was but he also knew Azalea wasn't the type to do something like that. 

"I can't believe she actually did it." The group of bullies said, giggling with each other. Kaidan wasn't riled up very easily, it took a lot to make him angry, like being unnecessary mean to someone he cared deeply for. 

Kaidan grabbed his coat and followed her out of the house, hoping he'd be able to catch up with her. "Lea!" He called and she froze in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Go away!" She called back, wiping her eyes.

Kaidan frowned "Lea…." 

"I'm sorry, I know I'm the last person you probably want to kiss." She said as she attempted to calm down, she didn't want to annoy Kaidan with her crying like she did her mother. It usually only made things worse.

That was actually far from the truth, of the people in that room she's the one he wanted to kiss the most. Recently he's come to realize his feelings for her, he thought Azalea might feel the same but their age difference made things...awkward, at least for the moment. 

Kaidan took his coat and draped it over her small, shivering shoulders "I'm not mad Azalea." He said softly. 

"....you aren't?" She asked, slowly raising her head to look at him.

Kaidan shook his head "No, it was wrong of them to tease you like that, you didn't do anything wrong." 

Azalea threw herself against him and buried her face into his sweater, Kaidan looked down at her as held her. "Lea, look at me." He coaxed and it took a moment but she finally did as he asked.

Even with her tear stained cheeks and red eyes he thought she was beautiful. He brought his face close to hers and all she could barely hear anything above her heartbeat "Kaidan?" 

At the sound of her voice he lost his nerve and rested his forehead on her shoulder. "Come on, I'll walk you home." He said with a strained smile, taking her hand but she didn't budge "Lea?" 

"Can I stay with you?" She shuffled awkwardly, what great timing this was. "My mom, she's in one of her moods again."

Kaidan knew what that was code for and he couldn't bring himself to say no. "Of course, my mom was just talking about how she hasn't seen you in a while."

Azalea gave him a relieved smile "It won't be awkward?" 

Kaidan shook his head "You're my best friend, nothing will ever be awkward between us." He assured her. 

She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of the coat he'd leant her. She wasn't sure what she did to deserve a friend like him but she knew how lucky she was. Of all the people he could spend time with he chose her. 

She doubted their feelings would ever be the same for each other. She was fine with that, or she would be eventually. There were other people that deserve him more than she did but for the moment she'd enjoy what time they did have. Just the two of them.  

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on loki ep 2: the variant (spoilers)

under cut to not disturb your scrolling

Overall I enjoyed so that's good

Uh frick my mind blanked so sorry if things are completely out of order

I don't know, I expected the renaissance fair to be 2012 or 2021 or 2024 (Loki's time, our time, current time in the "sacred timeline"). So I was genuinely surprised when it was in 1985.

Ok, i really like the title card thing. And how the year scrolls around. It's a nice aesthetic touch there.

I wonder why the female Loki variant chooses her locations? Does she have a thing for renaissance fairs, French cathedrals, and Oklahoma?

1985 is when Back to the Future came out. And it's y'know, one of the most popular time travel movies ever. So I think they chose that year as a reference.

Again, not liking that the minutemen only have numbers, not names. It is giving me lots of Clone Wars vibes. If you don't know anything about Clone Wars, the clones are given number identifiers by the Kaminoans. Things like CT-7567. The clones would give themselves names (CT-7567, for example, names himself Rex). A really good sign throughout the series that someone is a sketchy person is if they call the clones by their numbers. The clones don't want to be known as numbers. They are people too, they deserve names, so they come up with all sorts of creative names (Rex, Fives, Cody, Tup, Hevy, Hardcase, Echo, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Jesse, Kix, Fox, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Omega, Tech, Matchstick, etc). The jedi respect this, and the only jedi that i can think of that called clones by their numbers is Krell, who fell to the dark side. the Kaminoans and other sketchy people all call them by their numbers and the clones don't like it. A big focus of the show is on the clone's agency (at the end, they all have brain chips that take away their agency and force them to kill jedi), and how the clones need to be respected. So for me to see in another series that people are only given numbers is bad. What's worse is that the minutemen are fine with this. They don't see it as dehumanizing or belittling. They are brainwashed into being okay with it. Which says a thing or two about the Time Keepers.

did. did the renaissance fair really have Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" for their renaissance themed fight? Is this normal? Was it normal in the '80's? We saw later that the female Loki can do electronic stuff. Did she rig it to play it? For the vibes?

Also the stuff before the song was about fighting for a princess, and in the end she kidnaps C-20.

Okay, btw, I'm just gonna say Lady Loki for a while because no one has explicitly said Sylvie yet, so I'm going to refer to di Martino as Loki until she or another calls her Sylvie. Cool? Cool.

I was thinking the "Holding Out for a Hero" fight would be the roomba fight or something. It is such a good song that has huge potential for this genre. Why did they use it in a lame fight as that one?

When Lady Loki did the spell on C-20, it looked similar to what Wanda and Agatha can do. As in, it had similar visuals.

Loki reading a random magazine he finds while sitting with his feet on the desk bored out of his mind because he has to learn sh*t is a MOOD.

What is Miss Minutes? She can jump around anywhere, and pop into computers. But she can't be just a projection. She took the effort to dodge Loki swatting at her, so that may mean she was corporeal. She also could be something similar to the Kree's Supreme Intelligence?

So, did Mobius give Loki the shirt, tie, and slacks, but really didn't give him the jacket until they had to call him in? What? That makes no sense? Did the TVA not have any jackets with the variant label? Did someone have to custom design a jacket for Loki?

What is up with this show giving me things I wanted to see only in holographic form? First we saw Coulson's death, and now Loki in his Jotun form in a holograph of another variant.

Okay, Loki being someone the TVA has to constantly deal with is very on brand. Loki is a creature of chaos, of course he's going to unknowingly rebel against the sacred timeline.

Also, headcanon that the Jotun Loki we see is king of Jotunheim because that would be epic.

Also, for personal reasons I choose to believe there is a Loki variant that defeated the Avengers and immediately went queer rights.

Loki's reaction to there being many Loki variants. He's seen what his life is supposed to be. I think he is even more upset that the TVA often deals with him, that there are so many things that could have been instead if it weren't for the TVA and the "sacred timeline."

Also, I totally think Mobius was waiting for another Loki to show up to help him defeat Lady Loki. They get them so often, it makes sense.

Loki explaining the difference between illusion projection and duplication was great. And very helpful to me personally understanding lore. Also, Mobius, get your crap together. If you're a Loki expert, figure this stuff out.

Loki calling the TVA out on propaganda, we love that.

The wolf quote is actually very nice, I quite like it.

Okay, the TVA doesn't even bury or cremate or do any sort of ritual for their fallen minutemen, they just reset the timeline. Which to me seems like another way to show how little the TVA actually care for their workers.

There are statues of the Time Keepers in Ravonna's office. The camera pays extra attention to it. Keep reading for more about Time Keepers and cinematography choices.

What. What sort of relationship does Ravonna and Mobius have? What is going on there? I am really confused.

Who is this "analyst on the side?" What is going on there?

Ravonna is MEGA SUS. Along with that, the Time Keepers are mega sus.

She signs R. Slayer. Yeah. Slayer. Not at all subtle, Marvel. Letting us know that she'll do the deed if needed.

Mobius you are sending me mixed signals. What do you want?

Okay, Mobius saying Loki was a "cold, scared boy" and an "ice runt" and stuff was totally a jab at Loki being Jotun.

Mobius saying Loki is insecure because of Lady Loki is...probably true.

With the elevator, the camera stops and focuses on the Time Keepers.

The Creation of the TVA, the beginning of time, the end of time, all classified. That is sus.

Loki almost crying over Ragnarok was good. Let him cry over the destruction of his home.

Loki being the one to discover something the TVA had no idea about after a day is on brand for Loki. And it shows how the TVA really are vulnerable.

Mobius: Really? In front of my salad?

No but the object lesson was well done and actually did help me understand what Loki was talking about.

Casey! Casey drinks grape juice! Imagine how confusing this is for Casey though. Loki is captured, threatens to gut you like a fish (whatever that means), and now he's dressed like an analysist, stealing your juice box. Does Loki get Casey more juice?

Honestly, Loki looking at everything logically and scientifically is fantastic. Adds to the science = magic thing Marvel's got going on, since Loki is a sorcerer.

Loki saying volcanoes are cool is fun. I agree. Volcanoes mean the planet is geologically active, which means we won't die. Also, there is a volcano named Loki on one of Jupiter's moons. I wonder if the creators knew that and put Loki in Pompeii because he is already linked with volcanoes.

Mobius telling Loki to start off small and Loki completely disregarding that felt very personal to me.

Loki being absolutely chaotic and telling everyone they were going to die while speaking perfect Latin was iconic. I want more of that content. Let the man be buckwild.

Again, Loki finding something out after a day that the TVA never knew about is on brand.

"Be free, my horned friends, be free!" I love that way too much.

Mobius being obsessed with jet skis wasn't something I expected, but I'm down for it. Heck, even Loki admitted they were cool.

The discussion on beliefs is going to lead to saying the Time Keepers are bullcrap. Hopefully.

Grapes and nuts are "candy" on Asgard. So, when Loki was eating grapes in Ragnarok, we can interpret that as him eating M&Ms. Second, this might add to something I've seen around here. I've seen things about a book somewhere with Loki saying chocolate fountains are mythical (which is really funny to me). So, I guess Asgard really doesn't have chocolate.

Oh my gosh, so many apocalypses between 2047 and 2051...hopefully none of those happen in real life.

Roxxcart is probably part of Roxxon, something that has been around in Iron Man movies.

Lady Loki got the shovel thing from Roxxcart that she left in Oklahoma! The minutemen said it was from the early third millenia, which is where we are now! 2050 also fits that category!

I saw something about the file saying Class 8 hurricane...there are only 5 classes...which means this is a crazy storm.

Does B-15 want Loki dead? This is a legitimate question, because I think she does. Dead or pruned.

Loki looking around at the storm, I love it. This could be him loving science, or him missing Thor, since Thor creates storms. Also, at this point Loki probably things Thor dies shortly after him in the sacred timeline, so Loki would be particularly sentimental about Thor.

I love Loki drying himself off and not anyone else. And B-15 yelling about his magic. And Loki's motions are so fluid, it's so aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Dudes, I thought B-15 was going to try to prune Loki when they were alone.

Okay, was Lady Loki bsing about the azalea sale, or does Roxxcart actually do that? I want to know.

Wunmi Mosaku did a really good job as Lady Loki, I loved it.

Loki being annoyed at Lady Loki and saying he understood how Thor felt, does that insinuate Loki can do what Lady Loki was doing?

B-15 and C-20 were both very shaken after being possessed by Lady Loki. I wonder how that felt for them? We've had different explanations of mind control/brainwashing/similar from Clint, Bucky, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, and Monica in the MCU (including AoS). I wonder what is specific to Lady Loki's possession.

C-20 kept going on about something being real. What was that about?

C-20 revealed the location of the Time Keepers to Lady Loki!

Lady Loki not wanting to be called Loki could be a sign she is Sylvie.

There's something weird where Loki's voice echoed around while the camera focused on Lady Loki. Maybe she's telepathic?

Someone needs to keep a tracker on people telling Loki this isn't his story in a show literally about him.

But, that does add to themes for his life, and how everything was always about someone else in his life. He was always a supporting character for Thor, for Odin, for Thanos. Now, even in his own story, everyone insists he doesn't matter.

I was wondering what the reset charges would be used for. I wasn't expecting a massive bombing of the sacred timeline! Wow! That was unexpected and I loved it!

Okay, this isn't from me, this is from New Rockstars. But to list all the places mentioned on chronomonitors, either bombed or not: Knowhere, Barcelona, Niflheim, Dartford, Phong Nha, Lisbon, Vormir, Thorton, Cookeville, Asgard, Rome, Sakaar, Barichara, Porvoo, Ego, Titan, New York City, Tokyo, Hala, Kingsport, Xandar, Beijing, Madrid, Portland, Jotunheim. Bolded are other planets. Those are almost all the planets visited in the MCU. So fun easter eggs there!

I like Lady Loki's aesthetic. The fingerless gloves, the cloak, I love it. And YES SHE ISN'T SEXUALIZED. So many genderbent characters are excuses to sexualize women. But Lady Loki is just as covered as the male Lokis.

Lady Loki just...left the time door open for Loki to follow...for a really long time...I'm worried he's running into a trap.

What is Loki going to do now?

Theory time y'alls: Lady Loki bombed the sacred timeline to flush the minutemen out of the TVA, leaving it defenseless. And she's gonna go after the Time Keepers themselves. We know she gets into the TVA from trailer footage, and that's what I think we're gonna see next episode. I think she (like the Loki we are following) is upset over the lack of free will, and she plans to change that. That's why she wasn't interested in helping Loki "take over" the TVA, because she doesn't want to become the leader of a new TVA, she wants it destroyed.

Alright, back to the Time Keepers stuff. They keep focusing on the middle Time Keeper. Even in the end credits they have a weird cut to focus directly on his face. I'm not 100% on this, but I like this theory. That face is similar to Jonathan Major's, the actor confirmed to be Kang the Conqueror in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang is a well known time travelling villain in Marvel. Maybe he is Kang, and is using variant versions of himself (that's a Kang thing in the comics) to mess with the timeline, and no one expects that from him. Also, Renslayer was his S/O for a bit in the comics, and they keep framing her in front of that one Time Keeper's face. I feel like this would be a good way to set up Quantumania and to show how sus the Time Keepers are.

Also, Loki was absolutely adorable the entire episode. And he got to sleep! Yay for him!

Again, I enjoyed, and can't wait for next week!

[hopelikethemoon]

Cracks (Reader x Javier) {MTMF}

Title: Cracks Rating: PG-13 Length: 3000 Warnings: Therapy Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in late September  1997.  Summary: Reader goes to therapy.

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps​ @frietiemeloen​ @arrowswithwifi​ @random066​ (more tags in the replies)

You settled into the right side of the sofa, leaning against the arm as your eyes flickered around the room. “You got a new bonsai tree.” You pointed out, pointing to the larger tree that sat beside the smaller one that had previously adorned her table. “I didn’t know they bloomed.”

“It’s an azalea. I have a client who enjoys gifting them to people.” Nancy smiled a little at you. “You should see my house.”

You laughed, pushing your hair behind your ears. “At least it’s something lovely.” 

Nancy flipped her notebook open, shuffling through a few pages before making a note. “I thought that today might be a good day to discuss Javier.”

“Oh.” Your brows furrowed together and you shrugged. “Sure.” Honestly, you thought you had covered a lot about him in that first session. 

“Your relationship with Javier was rather unconventional, wasn’t it?”

You nodded. “We’ve definitely done things backwards.” 

“When did you realize you loved him?”

That was an easy enough question to answer. You still remembered the look on his face when you finally admitted what you both already knew. 

“I told him that I loved him the Christmas before Josie was born.” 

She shook her head, “Not when you told him. When did you realize?”

Your brows drew together. “Well…” You dragged your teeth over your bottom lip, thinking back over the years. It was hard to pinpoint the precise moment you realized you loved him. “I think I realized I had feelings for him when I was still dating Lance. I would catch myself comparing the two of them. I just assumed it was because I spent most of my time with Javi.” 

“But you had another partner too. Did you ever compare Lance with Mr. Murphy?” She questioned, referring to her notes. You watched her as she wrote something down, glancing back at you expectantly. 

“No.” You stared down at the ground. “It was always Javier I compared everyone to. But things were complicated back then. He led this life that I knew I didn’t factor into. I just bottled up those feelings and hid them away.”

“And what sort of life is that?”

“Uh, well…” You swallowed thickly. “I’m fairly certain he knew the name of every hooker in Bogotá.” 

“And how did that make you feel?”

“I didn’t feel anything.” You pushed your fingers through your hair. “Javier was my friend and that was his thing. Trust me, I even encouraged it.” 

“Encouraged it?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “We both encouraged each other to have a little fun.” Nights out at the bar with Javier had been some of your favorite memories from Colombia.

“But never with each other?”

“We worked together.” You rubbed at the back of your neck, fluffing your hair. “I was content with just being his friend.”

“You were content?”

“I mean… not always. But it was easier to go home with a stranger, rather than screw up a good thing.” You shrugged. “I know it’s hard to believe, but that was never really a problem for either of us. We were both very supportive of our extracurricular activities.” 

“But your opinion changed on that. Didn’t it? What changed?”

“It all happened so fast.” Though, maybe it had been a gradual slide towards something. “Steve left Colombia and I felt like my world was falling apart. I figured it was only a matter of time before Javier left too.” You admitted quietly. Reflecting back on that night, you now understood what you were feeling. You were lost and Javier was the only thing that made sense.

“So you slept with him?”

“I think that oversimplifies it. I think it was more like we both realized that life was short and sometimes it changes fast. Why delay the inevitable?” 

“So you believed that your relationship with Javier was inevitable?”

“I believed that we would eventually sleep together, yeah.” You hugged your arms around yourself, feeling exposed to Nancy. “Look, I wanted to stay. I wanted to tell him that I wanted more but… like I said, I knew all about the life he led. He wasn’t the relationship type. He had his hookers and.. I felt like I was no better than a one night stand.”

“But that wasn’t the case. Was it?”

You shook your head slowly. “No. I didn’t know that though. For three months I ran from him. It was fucking unbearable.” You rubbed at your forehead, “To have someone who means the world to you, but you just… you shut them out for your own sanity.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I was afraid.” Your shoulders sank. “I hardly looked at him for three months. And that was a feat. Our desks faced each other. I was fucking terrified that if I looked at him I would see just how little he really cared about me. That I was just some stupid woman that fell into bed with him.”

“Stupid?” Nancy questioned, furiously writing notes. “Why that word choice?”

“Because I felt stupid.” You rubbed at your eyes, sighing heavily. “There was so much love in the way he touched me that night and I just… I assumed it was how he was with everyone. He had a good reputation. Those women loved him. I’m sure I made a few hookers weep when I pulled him off the market.”

“And did he keep up his interactions with them after your relationship began?”

You frowned, sinking back against the sofa as you stared at her. “Yeah. But it was just for work. She was an informant of his. In his defense,  we weren’t even together. It happened while I was avoiding him.” You shook your head slowly. “But I think that eats at him. You should ask him about it.”

“Why?”

“Because I know how he felt. We’ve discussed that — all of this. This conversation has come up before. And I know that it’s one of the many things he still dwells on.” He dwelled on a lot of things about the past. Things that couldn’t be changed. 

“And why do you think that?”

“I just do.”

“Do you want him to dwell on it?”

“No! I want to move past all of that.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I know you’re trying to find out if I’m jealous, but I’m not.” You told her earnestly. “You can even ask him. When there was this ridiculous rumor about him fucking a student — I knew he never would do that. I didn’t even consider it as truth. He was scared shitless that I would believe it, though. I know he loves me and I know he loves our family. That isn’t something I worry about.” 

“Interesting.” She nodded approvingly, turning the page. “What drew you to Javier?”

“Day one... I felt this kinship with him. He really challenged me, which I appreciated. I think I did the same for him.” You rubbed your hands together slowly. “He was a jackass and he was handsome. It was a fatal combination.”

“Fatal?”

“I just mean…” You laughed. “He was definitely my type.”

“You’ve mentioned your previous relationship before. Was he anything like Javier?”

“Complete opposite. He had a terribly dry sense of humor, he was very straight-laced, and physically night and day with Javier.”

“How was your relationship with him?”

“I was bored.”

“How long were you with him?”

“Nearly a year I guess.” It probably said something about you that you didn’t know how long you dated Lance. “We broke up because he wanted me to leave Colombia with him. I couldn’t even picture it. My life was there. I was happy.”

“Was?”

“I am happy.” You assured her. “Javier and the girls are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Nancy nodded her head slowly. “In our first session you mentioned Javier’s guilt. What is it about the way he dwells on things that frustrates you?”

Oh, you hated the way she took everything you said and presented it back to you. 

“Javier has convinced himself that he’s not a good guy. There was a lot of shit went down in Colombia. Stuff I can’t really talk about.” People who died, people who were killed. Shit that weighed heavily on both of you. “But he carries a lot of that with him. Constantly.” You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. “And I don’t know how to help him do that. I’ve tried.”

“That didn’t answer my question. Why does that frustrate you?”

You blinked. “Because I know that he’s a good man. He’s an incredible father, the best partner I could ever imagine, and his students adore him despite how hard he is on them. He’s caring, loyal, passionate. He’s always been all in with me. But he lets things get under his skin and eat at him. Anything that goes wrong is instantly his fault. I mean, the garbage disposal could break and somehow he’d rationalize that it's his fault. That he didn’t think of it last week.”

“Why do you think Javier does that?”

“I’m hoping you’ll help him figure that out.”

Nancy’s brows rose upwards as she stared at you. “But this isn’t just about him.”

You dragged your fingers through your hair, sighing heavily. “No, it’s not.” You glanced towards the window, brows furrowed. “I’ve always had this theory… And it’s just a theory.” You glanced back at her then. “His mom died when he was young. Sofía is named after her.”

“I see.”

“I think sometimes that he is overcompensating because he has had such a complicated relationship with women throughout his life. Starting with his mother dying.”

“Why do you think that?”

“This thing we have is the most serious relationship either of us has ever been in. He was engaged once before, back when he was much younger. He left her at the altar.” You grimaced. “I know that there is a part of me that worries that the only reason we ended up in a relationship is because of Josie. That he’s still here because he wants to do right by our girls. But I know that isn’t true. Josie didn’t make us love each other, we already loved each other. She was just the linchpin that made us own up to it.” 

“So why the worry?”

“Because I still catch myself feeling like that stupid girl who did the walk of shame out of the apartment of the man she loved. Who felt stupid for weeks and months, even after things were good between us.” You covered your face then. “I think I’m still waiting for the day that he leaves me at the proverbial altar.” 

“And how long have you been together?”

“Five years.”

“Has he ever given you a reason to think he’s going to leave you?”

You shook your head. “My only reasons for even thinking that it could happen are my own. He is incredibly committed to our family. He’d do anything for us.”

“Then why do you feel that way?”

You wiped away a tear as it slid down your cheek. “Because I love him and I don’t want to lose him. We have been through so much. And frankly…” You laughed softly. “The thought of doing any of this on my own makes me sick to my stomach. He keeps me grounded. And he has for ten years.”

Nancy nodded slowly. “Why do you think you both struggle to communicate?”

“Because we both want to protect each other.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “And sometimes we are protecting each other from ourselves.”

“An astute observation.” She took a few more notes before closing her notebook and leaning back in her chair. “I think we made progress today.” 

“I thought we’d talk more about me.” You admitted, wringing your hands together.

“Is there something that’s on your mind?”

“Not really,” You pressed your tongue to the inside of your cheek, brows furrowed. “But you’re right. I felt like I made progress this week.”

Nancy opened her notebook again and wrote something down. “And why do you think that is?”

“Well, writing things down has really helped. It’s nice to have something to reflect on when I feel like everything is falling apart. I mean, I couldn’t get Sofía to settle at all on Thursday. I ended up having to pump because she refused to latch on.” You frowned at the memory. “I felt like shit. But I looked back on Monday and Tuesday which were really good days.”

“You’re not going to have an overnight success. You went through a deeply traumatic experience.” Nancy reminded you with an even voice. “What you’re going through is understandable. We’re going to work together to give you the tools to overcome this.” 

“Also,” You laughed with a roll of your eyes. “Javier wanted to make sure I told you that he’s doing his homework.” 

“And how has that helped you?” Nancy arched a brow.

You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to ignore the way you felt heat rush to your cheeks. “I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s not even about the sex. It’s the closeness I crave. The attention.” You laughed nervously. “So thank you for encouraging him to do whatever you encouraged him to do.” 

“Intimacy is a vital part of a relationship.” Nancy explained, “Even if it is as simple as holding hands. It keeps you connected to each other. Keep working on that until your next session. Focus on documenting the good things that happen.” 

 ———

 “How did it go?” Javier questioned as you slid into the passenger seat. 

“I think it went well.” You shrugged, glancing into the backseat. “Did you have fun at preschool today, Josie?”

“We did some math today.” She told you with a grimace. 

“She had an issue.” Javier explained, reaching over to give your leg a squeeze. 

“Oh no. What happened, sweetheart?”

“They had us counting with candy!” Josie said excitedly, though her expression faltered. “She had us subtractate-“

“Subtract.” You corrected 

“Subtract three candies.” She stared down at her hands bashfully. “And when she said to put one back I couldn’t.”

Javier whispered, “She ate them.”

You snorted, trying to keep composed. “And then what happened?”

“I cried.”

“I had to talk to the teacher. It’s fine.” He assured you. 

“Did she say you could eat the candies?”

“She didn’t say I couldn’t.”

Javier chuckled, rubbing his thumb over your leg. “She’s your daughter.”

“Always looking for a loophole.” You shrugged. “That’s okay Josie. It happens.”

“I know mommy.” Josie pursed her lips, looking rather dejected about the whole thing. 

You reached back and gave her hand a squeeze. “Now you know not to eat them in the future.” 

She nodded her head and clasped her hands around your hand. “I told sissy not to eat the candies when she goes to school too.”

“And what did she say?”

“She just stared at me.” Josie looked at her sister, brows furrowed. “She doesn’t like to talk yet.” 

“That’s because she’s a little baby, JoJo.” Javier told her, looking back at them in the rearview mirror. “Remember what we talked about?” 

“I remember.” 

“What did you talk about?” You questioned, settling back against your seat as you looked at Javier. 

“Josie was very disappointed that Sofía wasn’t fun. She’s used to Olivia and Emily. So we had a nice conversation about how she’s the big sister and she has to help us take care of Sofía until she’s bigger.” 

“Daddy said sissy is like a puppy and I’m a big dog.” 

“You called our daughter a puppy?” You slapped his leg playfully. 

“I had to use terms she understood.” 

You scrunched up your nose, “I suppose that’s excusable.” 

As Javier slowed down for a stoplight, he reached over and took your hand into his, interlacing your fingers. “Did you tell her I was doing my homework.”

You squeezed his hand and laughed. “Seriously?” You grinned at him. “Don’t worry it was discussed. In fact, you were the topic of most of the session.”

“I was?” His brows drew together. 

You nodded your head slowly, “You were indeed.” 

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Should I be worried?”

“No.” You reassured him, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles. “It helped me realize some stuff. Crap I’ve been holding onto for too long.” He definitely wasn’t the only one who hauled around shit from the past. “I think we’re going to come out of this better than before.” 

“I hope so.” Javier squeezed your hand three short pulses, before he had to let go to drive the car. “How does ice cream sound?” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” You grinned, reaching over to steal the aviators off his face, leaning across the center console to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Thief.” 

“And proud.” You said smugly, pushing the glasses up the bridge of your nose. 

You definitely had worries about your relationship, worries that you had neatly compartmentalized and tried to pretend them away. And maybe that showed. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Javier to believe you were done with your relationship, because he’d seen the cracks in the facade along the way. 

You had always prided yourself on believing that you didn’t hide anything from Javier, but the truth was you were hiding things from yourself. 

[juviin]

Here’s literally all the rosie lore. 

(template 1) (template 2)

Name: Rosemary Nare Etana Alias: Ro, Rose, Rosie Personality: Rosemary is very open about her emotions. She takes a while to warm up to people, but when she does, she loves people very strongly. Relatives: Father (estranged), Mother (deceased), 4 older siblings, 2 younger siblings. Status: Alive Species: Human Gender: cis female Age: 19 Eyes: Gold Hair: Pink Appearance: Rosemary is 5′5 and has short pink hair. She has two scars, one along her back and one on her lower right abdomen. She also has a tattoo on her calf of a lily. Birthday: July 30th Constellation: Leo Height: 5′5″ or 165 cm Blood Type: O Occupation: Magic Knight -Squad: Black Bulls Country: Clover Affinity: Lava Magic (On a scale of 0-10: 0 being terrible and 10 being the best) Physical Strength 5/10 Magic Amount 7/10 Magic Control 9/10 Magic Sensing 6/10 Cleverness 9/10 Growth 8/10 Equipment: none

(this next one is all in first person which i am NOT used to writing in but...)

Part 1: The Basics

What is your full name?--Rosemary Nare Etana

Where and when were you born?--I was born on July 30th in a large city in the Common Realm, however we moved to a small town shortly after I was born.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)--

Lily Etana was my mother’s name. She worked several jobs while raising us, like waitressing and being a maid. She was very kind too, but a lot of people took advantage of her for that. I guess that’s why Val and I have taken to being aggressive about how we feel, and aggressive in sticking up for her. When I was 12, an assassin killed her and gave me the scar across my back. I’m sure he was sent by my grandparents, but they played the fool and even sent an advisor to her funeral. Since then, that advisor has scheduled meetings with me monthly to make sure I haven’t told anyone.

My father’s name is Andranik Typhos the fourth? something like that, but I don’t know very much about him. I know he’s a noble, but I’ve never met him. I don’t hear that many complaints about him, and Mother says he was a wonderful gentleman, but I’ve met his parents, and I find it hard to believe that they would raise a lovely son.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?--I have four! On my mom’s side, at least.

Valerian is the oldest. He’s sixteen years older than me, so he’s a lot more mature than me, and very protective of us younger siblings. He has three kids, too, and his wife is Eli’s cousin. They have been married since I was only three, so she’s been in our lives forever. The two of them basically became my parents after our mother died, so I couldn’t be more grateful to them.

Then is Dahlia. Dahlia is 12 years older than me. She’s very calm, and there have been more than a few times where Valerian has been freaking out and Dahlia always keeps her cool and fixes the problem. She’s the best at makeup.

Basil is in the direct middle, and they’re 9 years older than me. They are very energetic and mischievous. I don’t think Basil wants a spouse, but they’re very dedicated to their craft. I blame them for the multiple scams of my father’s estate, but who’s complaining? Basil also has a scar along  their right cheek, running from their nose to their chin

Azalea is the closest to my age, she’s 25. She’s a lot like our mom. She treats everyone with kindness, but I worry about people taking advantage of her for that.

Also, I know that my father has two children younger than me with his wife, but I’ve never met them and I probably never will.

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.--I live with the Black Bulls! The base is really crazy and always changing, but there’s always something going on, so everyday is fun.

What is your occupation?--I’m a Magic Knight, but I have also worked some other jobs in the past.

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks--I’m 5′5, and around 150lbs. My skin is pale, so I tend to burn very easily, and my eyes are yellow and my hair is pink. I like to wear warm colors and clothes that aren’t very tight, as well as boots. I have two large scars, one is about three inches and is a slash along my stomach, while the other one is about eight inches long and runs across my upper back, both from assassination attempts. I try to hide both of them. I also have one tattoo on my lower calf, so it’s usually covered.

To which social class do you belong?--I believe I’m considered a commoner. I likely wouldn’t be considered a noble unless something happened to my father’s legitimate children, though I have no interest in being taken in by his family. 

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?—I get nosebleeds often because of an injury when i was younger. 

Are you right- or left-handed?—right handed

What does your voice sound like?—If I had to describe it, I’d say it’s medium in pitch and kind of airy. 

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?--nothing particularly?

What do you have in your pockets?—um. a handful of flowers, a pocket watch, and assorted candies. 

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?—I sometimes bite my nails. 

Part 2: Growing Up

How would you describe your childhood in general?--Average for the most part, I’d say. I had a loving mother and 4 great siblings. Still, my mother’s death hit all of us very hard.

What is your earliest memory?--Sadly, my first assassination attempt. That one was when I was around five and it was sent by my father’s family. It gave me the scar on my stomach, and also gave Basil the scar on their face from them protecting me.

How much schooling have you had?--I went to the small schoolhouse in town up until I was 12, and then I started going less so I could work more. 

Did you enjoy school?--I enjoyed learning, but I’ve found that I learn more outside of school.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?--I learned basic first aid and how to identify certain plants and herbs from my siblings. I mostly learned battle from experience and assassins.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.—my siblings, especially Basil

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?--We all got along very well as kids, though they were all a lot older than me so that did strain our relationships a bit, especially as the youngest.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?--As a child I wanted to work in medicine, even though my magic is ill suited for it. I only decided that I wanted to become a Magic Knight after my mother’s death.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?—i used to love helping my mother garden. 

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?--I cried a lot more than I do now. I was always scared, as I knew from a young age that my father’s parents wanted me dead.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?--My only friend was really Eli, but she hung out with all the kids from town, so i vaguely knew them.

When and with whom was your first kiss?--also Eli, when we were about 12 and 13.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?--I’m not. After Eli left town I kind of lost myself for the next two years until I became a knight. 

Part 3: Past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?--My mother's death perhaps?

Who has had the most influence on you?--Eli. I think if not for her, I would be a very different person.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?--The amount of nobles I’ve insulted to their faces on official magic knight business.

What is your greatest regret?--being born.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?--I don’t think I’ve ever done anything “evil”, only some malicious things, but I don’t regret them.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?--No, but I probably should for extortion.

When was the time you were the most frightened?--The first attempt on my life.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?--My elder brother catching me lying about my profession. 

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?—i would be stronger. 

What is your best memory?—probably the first few months with the black bulls. It was genuine happiness for the first time in a while. 

What is your worst memory?—the aftermath of my mother’s death. I don’t remember the actual event, some mix of trauma and head injuries, but I do remember the weeks following. 

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?—i think i’m more pessimistic, but i'm trying to be an optimist. 

What is your greatest fear?--My greatest fear is once again being too weak to protect the people that I love. 

What are your religious views?--I’m not religious.

What are your political views?--I think that the Clover Kingdom’s nobility is corrupt, and the whole system needs to be fixed.

What are your views on sex?--I think nothing much of it. 

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?--I think I’m a hypocrite on this. I think killing is unacceptable, but I wouldn’t hesitate to kill the people that harm the ones I love. 

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?--In my opinion, the most evil thing one can do is to habitually hurt and abuse others.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?--No. I don’t think that anything like that is real.

What do you believe makes a successful life?--I think that money plays a large part of success. 

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?--Very open. My emotions are very easily read.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?--Yeah i hate nobles. 

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?--I try to stay out of the public eye as best I can. I also refuse to do jobs near my grandparents’ home. 

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?--Finral or Eli. I’d do anything for them.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?—I try to keep people at a distance, but when I become close to someone, they become one of my People. I’d do anything for the people I’m close to. 

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?--Right now, it’s probably Eli or Finral. They’ve positively affected me in more ways than I can count.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?—Captain Yami is the person I respect the most. Joining the Black Bulls changed my life so much for the better, and I’m so grateful that he gave me that opportunity.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people—Eli is my best friend. She’s loud and always smiling, but I worry about her. I’m also pretty close to Magna.  He’s a great friend and brings out my mischievous side more. 

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.--Finral is great. He’s a little goofy, but he is very loyal and loving. 

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.--I think I’m in love right now. 

How close are you to your family?--I’m very close to my older siblings.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?--No. I think I’d like to at some point be a mother, but not for a while longer. 

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?--I think I would find it hard to turn to anyone, but if I was so desperate, probably Eli or Magna. I’m too afraid to show Finral my weakness. 

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?--No. I need to be strong enough to protect myself. 

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?--I think that the bulls would. 

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?--My father. My mother spoke kindly of him, but he abandoned her. 

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?--I argue more.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?—depends who I'm with, but I’m more likely to take a leadership role.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?—I’d prefer a smaller group, personally, but i’m not bad with large groups. 

Do you care what others think of you?—yes. immensely 

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?--I enjoy reading romance novels, and spending time in nature. Flower fields remind me of home and give me comfort. 

What is your most treasured possession?—my pocket watch. my mother gave it to me, since it was a gift to her from my father. 

What is your favorite color?—i like warm pale yellow

What is your favorite food?—I like crepes!

What, if anything, do you like to read?—I like to read romance. 

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?--I enjoy reading. On days off, I often spend hours at a time sitting outside and reading.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?—I generally don’t, but I will drink sometimes. I probably drink an average amount. 

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?—generally hanging around the Bulls hideout. If I have a day off I often go visit home to see my mother’s grave and give her flowers. 

What makes you laugh?—My squadmates! I’ve been told my sense of humor is bad..

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?--I hate the prejudices of the Clover nobles.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?—When that happens (because it has before) I will usually walk around the base, sometimes I eat a snack. I also like to head outside and look at the stars when I can’t sleep. 

How do you deal with stress?—I will usually end up letting it out, whether emotionally or magically. I don't like to bottle things up. 

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?—I prefer having a plan. 

What are your pet peeves?—people talking over others. 

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?--I wake up at about 7 every morning, and get ready for the day. If I have a mission, I’ll leave for it early. On days I don’t have a mission, I will either go visit my mother’s grave or go see my grandparents or their advisor.

What is your greatest strength as a person?--I’d say my strength is supporting people. And also throwing lava. 

What is your greatest weakness?--I lie a bit too much, and I am a bit indifferent towards people I don’t care about.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?--I would want to be more caring. 

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?--I’d say introvert.

Are you generally organized or messy?--Organized. I don’t like disorder.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.--I’m good at lying, cleaning, and fighting. I’m bad at controlling my emotions, sewing, and cooking.

Do you like yourself?--No, I really don’t. 

What are your reasons for being a magic knight*? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)--I am a magic knight because I want to protect people. 

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?--I want to heal from my past. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?--I hope to still be a Magic Knight, and hopefully a higher rank.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?--I would want to die swiftly if I could choose.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.--I would try to isolate myself from the people I love, so that they wouldn’t have to deal with grief. I think I would generally be calm.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?--I want to be remembered for my strength. 

What three words best describe your personality?--open. loyal. decisive.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?--Rosie is loyal, smart, and loving!!-Eli

[amor-immortalem]

My Adoring Fan Chapter 5

Chapter 4

A/N: A bit of a fluffy chapter as the twins make up

As Aurelius entered the kitchen, both Azalea and Mammon turned their heads to him.

“There ya are,” Mammon says as he leans against the island counter. “Only three hours after your Ma called for you, but, hey, at least you came home.”

“You’re not going to yell at me too, are you?” He asks.

“Well, that depends. Do ya know why what ya did was wrong and do ya understand why you’re being punished for it?”

Aurelius nods. “Yes.”

“Then no, there’s nothin’ I need to say that ya probably haven’t heard from your mother already.” The oven dings and Mammon goes to pull the peppers out and places them on a plate for his son. “Here, have somethin’ ta eat before we leave.” Aurelius nods as he grabs a fork and starts eating.

“Leave?” Azalea asks as she looks between them. “Leave where?”

“Home.” The demon says as Azalea looks surprised. “What, you thought we were bluffin’ when we told you two that if you had one more spat like this that we’d be pullin’ one of ya from the house? Your Ma and I can’t keep coming over here every two or three nights to diffuse a situation between the two of ya like this because ya can’t seem ta learn ta get along. An’ since Aurelius started this by going along with Zulima’s hair-brained idea, he has to move back home until we think he’s learned his lesson.”

“So Aurelius gets punished while Zulima gets away scott-free?”

“No, of course not. Solomon was here earlier ta dish out her punishment and Uncle Asmo will be here shortly ta decide how long whatever her punishment was will last and talk with her about why this was wrong in the first place. Their startin’ to get up fed up with her actions too and this is probably your cousin’s last chance ta prove she can shape up before they pull ‘er out of the house too.”

Azalea turns to her brother with an apologetic look.

“I'll let ya have a few minutes ta talk privately and then we’ll be leaving.” The Avatar of Greed steps out since he knows his children won’t honestly speak their minds if someone is listening.

“Listen,” Aurelius says as he leans his head against Azalea’s, the black streaks in their hair pressed together. It’s a thing they’ve done ever since they we little. “I’m really sorry about this. I knew it was wrong and I still did it anyway. Are you still mad at me?”

“A little bit.” The older cambion sighed, “You didn’t send that audio clip to Max, did ya?”

“Yeah, but if it’s any consolation, she didn’t listen to it and deleted it instead. You really should tell her though. I think you’d be really happy. She definitely likes you back.”

“Why did ya do it? I feel so betrayed.”

“I told Mum that I was just bored but really it was because I was getting annoyed with Zulima talking about how much she quote-unquote ships you two and wishes you’d just get together already...”

“I get that. She can be rather persistent.” Azalea sighs. “If that’s the only reason then I guess I really can’t fault ya for it... How long are ya gonna be gone?”

“Until the end of next term. I’m grounded too for taking so long to get back here, so I’m losing my phone and I won’t get to do any photoshoots for the next three months... I’m think of quitting all together when my contract is up actually. The time off will give me a chance to really decide.”

“Majolish is gonna be really mad that they’ve lost their top model,” Azalea laughs softly. “Hey, the reason ya wanna quit is ‘cuz of that letter, right?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” Aurelius hums. “Actually, while I was running from you, I think I met the sender of that letter- well more like I plowed into her as I was running away. She didn’t seem all that crazy and claimed she didn’t know who I was but I don’t know, I got some really weird vibes so I think she was lying.”

“Hey, I just thought of this but doesn’t that girl who hounded you to start a relationship with her reside at the House of Sorrow? Maybe she’s the one who sent that letter so she wouldn’t have any competition for your attention.”

“I didn’t think of that. It would make sense, actually. “Do you think I should write her back and say I know it was her? See if it was really her and give her a chance to come clean?”

“Why don’t ya do it at school? We’re all bound to have classes with her at some point in the day so being able to get her alone and there be no chance for interference sounds like the perfect opportunity. What’s her name? Is she pretty?”

“She introduced herself as Persephone- you know like that greek myth and yeah she is. Funnily enough, she looks a lot like that idol that Henry was crying about earlier. Her hair and eye color are the same shade of grey as that idol’s.”

“That’s really interesting, actually. When I was talking with Henry earlier, I proposed the idea that maybe she was taking a break to enjoy a normal teen life so I wonder if I was right. Maybe this is something you could actually pursue as far as a relationship goes... If she is that idol then she wouldn’t be interested in dating you for our family’s prestige, fame, or money since she has plenty of her own to begin with. I know you’re lonely just like I’m lonely.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Aurelius pulled back. “I do want to find a mate eventually, but I also just want to survive RAD first before I start looking. It would be nice to have someone that looks at us in the same way Dad looks at Mum- with nothing but love and adoration but not a lot of demons really like us. They mostly just tolerate our existence.”

“You’ll get that eventually.” Azalea smiled. “I mean I got my person so you should too sooner or later, right?”

“Yeah, we-”

“Aurelius, what’s with this letter you have?” Arella asks as she enters the kitchen. “This really worries me, Sweetheart.”

“I got that today actually and I think I know who sent it, but also I’m starting to suspect she wasn’t actually the one who sent it. I’m going to meet with her at school to clear the air over it.”

“I don’t think that’s a very safe idea, Aurelius. From the verbiage in this letter, she could be stalking you. I know from experience with Dad and Uncle Asmo that people like this will do anything to ensure they're the only ones who have your attention.”

“I promise I’ll be safe, Mum. But I have to find out for sure if it’s her or....” the teen trails off and Arella doesn’t like the sound of that.

“Aurelius, has a classmate been harassing you, Darling?”

“Yeah... I didn’t want to tell you and Dad because I didn’t want to worry you guys... it’s been a thing for a while. You would think after rejecting her for the thousandth time, she would get the hint...”

“What’s been a thing?” Mammon asks as he pops his head in the doorway. “C’mon, Buddy, let’s go home.

“Our son is being harassed by one of his classmates and he didn’t want to tell us for fear of worrying us. Also, he received this rather alarming letter today in the post.”

“What? Lemme see that thing.” He takes the piece of paper in his hands and scans it over, eyebrows raising in alarm. “Aurelius this is not okay.  Is this the person whose been botherin’ ya?”

“Maybe...? I can’t really be sure. The implied sender isn’t the person whose been bothering me at school rather a girl that just transferred to RAD but I think it might have been forged by that person so I would avoid the sender at all costs. I want to meet her and confirm whether or not it’s really her.”

“You absolutely will not be doin’ that.”

“Dad I-”

“I said no. Aurelius, ya have no idea how dangerous people like this really are. I’ve had someone like this threaten your mother’s life multiple times back when we had first started officially datin’. Even Uncle Asmo got the same thing when he and Solomon went public with their relationship and other demons found out they had a kid together. I think combined, your uncle and I got close ta a thousand of these types of letters. It got so out of hand that at one point Uncle Lucifer had to step in and deal with it for us. This spells out nothing but trouble for ya and I don’t want ya getting' hurt by some nutcase that has a few bolts loose in the head.”

“Dad, you’re overreact-”

“No, I’m not, you’re not doing this and that’s final. I still have every single one of those letters and I’ll let ya read the worst ones to show ya just how dangerous something like this can get. Believe me when I tell ya this is not something ya want to deal with. And I’m warning you right now. If you get another one of these types of letters, I’m pulling ya out of modeling until you’re at least 1700 years old.”

“But what about my contract? Won’t I get penalized for breaking it?”

“We had a clause put in the fine print that if your father and I felt you were unsafe or were not benefitting from it emotionally or physically for any reason during the term of your contracts, that we had the right to terminate them at any point in time for your safety.” Arella explained.

The teen only sighs. He knows he should listen to his father but there’s something nagging him at the back of his mind. “Alright, I won’t do it.”

“Thank you.” Arella let out a relieved sigh. “We should get going now. It’s late enough as it is and your father and I both have to work in the morning. Give your sister a hug if you wish.”

The twins nodded as they moved to give each other a hug.

“See ya at school, I guess.” Azalea sighed. “Sorry I got ya booted back home.”

“It’s fine. This wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t started it. Love you.”

“Love you too.” They let each other go and Aurelius headed off with their mother after Azalea gave her a hug goodbye.

“Are ya good ta go back down the stairs in your room without sliding down the railing? Your room is messy and I don’t want ya tripping and hurting yourself over a pile of books. Ask your cousin to help ya clean it tomorrow.”

“I think so. If I need it, I’ll just guilt Zulima inta helping me. She owes me after that trick she organized.”

“Okay,” the demon chuckles as he pulled his daughter into a hug. “I’ll come back ta check on you when I get back from the fourth layer with your brother. Make sure you use that cane, please. It’ll only benefit you, kiddo. I love you.”

She nodded as she let her father go. “Love you too. See ya then...” Azalea watched them go before going to put the plates in the sink and climbing the stairs. She stopped at Max’s doors and knocked, knowing it was about the time she’d be getting ready to bed. When she heard a soft ‘come in’, Azalea pushed opened the door.

“Hey...” She says as she walked in and closed the door. “We should talk...”

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